Sunday, August 27, 2006
All Over Again
I get the feeling that I am going back to the start in terms of everything.
I swear, I think I am going back to being the ultra-GC April. You know, as in total geek. Well, partial lang pala kasi minus the look. Anyway, my point is, the big "College" thing is finally catching up on me. The whole idea of a whole new learning environment has now shown its idea upon me. You know, being independent and all is what college teaches you. When I was still in high school, they always say that college will be different because you will be alone by that time. Being April, I am not totally concerned with being alone, like having no BFF's, barkada or something, I am more concerned with being ALONE. I get to do things on my own, decide on my own and for my own's sake and be responsible for my own actions. Yes, I am concerned with those things since I have been so dependent on things that were still in high school. You know, the books, the parents, the teachers, the barkada.. I have been dependent.
Now, here I am, wondering why my answer is wrong on number 1 in my Math Manual while checking out medical institutions for our History project. Last time, I was in the library, reading tons of history books for our History project and I was also in the National Museum looking for plants being used by the Ikalahan tribe. If I were the high school version of April, I would not be caught staying in the library(darn librarians!)! I wouldn't even know that a certain Ikalahan tribe exists! Yes, I was GC in high school but not to the extent that I would go out on my way to get some extraordinary info from some extraordinary source. I study what my teachers taught us and that was it. I'd study every inch of it because I need to and because I want to. By going back to the old April, I'd like to regain the attitude towards studying. I want to pass this subject, not just because I need to and it's a pre-req of a gazillion other major subjects, but also because it is my decision. Because I want to. For some time kasi, para bang na-overwhelm ako sa kolehiyo, para akong nakawala sa hawla kaya nakalimot ako na dapat pala mas dibdibin ko ang pag-aaral or maging mas focused sa pag-aaral.
I think this is what you call, adjustment. But, it's weird because in my case, it seems that it's the opposite. Instead of changing from the new to the old, I am bringing back the old. Maybe I'm just recycling things as a sort of answer to today's demands. It's like Garbage In, Garbage Out. Taking in the good attitude from the past and deleting the bad attitude from what I've become.
I want to do this. No more slacking off, no more excuses. I should be responsible.
april28 sensed inspiration at 1:30 AM.
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i love. i have loved. i will love.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
I'm Out
Puhtek. Everything's just happening so fast. Everyone's moving so fast I think I got stuck along the way. I really feel lost.
I am fleeting. After today's events, feeling ko napakawalang kwenta kong tao! I super flunked the shitty math test. Oh crap.. how in the world can I ever survive such catastrophe..! Now, the idea of the crappy test score and test swims in my mind. I think it will stay there for weeks. Haha. I'm just the type of kid who can never let go of anything so major, like the subject. Well, I'm still hoping to shake off all the negative energy and outlook so that I can move on.
Kamote. Kanina, we had our second departmental exam in Ethnobotany(Nat Sci). The test was ok. But, it felt like a hassle since well, it was given after our shitty 1st period. Well, the aftermath of the first period took its toll on the second period which is Nat Sci. So, ayun, habang nag-tetest sa NatSci, naiisip ko pa rin ang Math. Pero, naisip ko, kailangan mas galingan ko dito para man lang makabawi dun sa pagbulusok ko sa Math. Grabe talaga. Pero, I have to admit that even though the test was ok there were still questions that were unclear to me. So, good luck naman!
Tomorrow, we will have another test! Whoopdeedoo! Of course, I am being sarcastic. Anyway, at least, the subject that we will have a test on tomorrow is interesting... for me. Hehe. I've always loved Biology ever since 2nd year high school. So, good luck na lang sa akin! Kaya ko ito! (kahit na super aminado ako na mahirap magkabisado ng cycles na may mga iba't ibang compounds)
Ahehe. Aun muna para sa ngayon. Mejo busy talaga these days eh.
april28 sensed inspiration at 10:31 PM.
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i love. i have loved. i will love.
Monday, August 07, 2006
55
Napaka-miserable ng kaibigan kong si Devine kanina. Ito ang nagawa ko para sa kanya.
55
Nakakasuka ka. Kasuklam-suklam ka.
Ang mga polynomials mo, hindi ko na nais pang makita.
Ako'y naduduwal. Nais kong lumayo.
Sa pagiging isang isa't kalahating oras na bilanggo.
Hindi ko maisip. Paano napunta rito?
Bakit naging mapangahas? Hindi sumunod sa payo.
Gusto kong tumakbo. Gusto kong tumakas.
Kahit man lamang limang minuto makalabas...
Makalabas sa aking hawla..
Sa room 223 ng Gusaling Rizal..
Lumabas sa gawa-gawang bilangguan..
Kung saan naglalaho ang kasiyahan.
Ngunit kung kanyang landas ay nararapat na daanan..
Ito'y tatahakin kahit na gumagapang..
Kung sumuway naman at hindi magparamdam..
Tiyak na 'irregular' ang siyang katapusan.
Kaya ngayon, magbubuklat na ako.
Ng aking higanteng luntiang kwaderno.
Nang hindi ako makakuha ng kwatro o singko..
Sa math17, magpapaalipin na ako.
Dahil nais ko pang makakita ng LIMITS..
Dahil nais ko pang mag-CALCULUS..
Dahil nais ko pang mag-CHEM14..
Dahil nais ko pang gumradweyt on time..
O, math17, bakit andami mong pre-requisite?! O, bakit?!
Hiling ko lamang sa iyo..
Makinig ka sana sa aking pagsusumamo..
Kahit sa pagkakataong lamang ito..
Mabigyan ako ng gradong pasado..
Mabigyan ako kahit na singkwenta'y singko..
Dugo Ilong. Gulong turnilyo. Kain ice cream. Lamig ulo. Akyat ng building. Third floor. Onting Second thoughts. Sabay... Sabay... Sabay...
.Lipad.
april28 sensed inspiration at 9:18 PM.
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i love. i have loved. i will love.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Halu-Halo Special
Awww. Shux. Nakakapanghinayang ang pag-ibig. Kung kailan naamin mo na sa sarili mo na ok na, na siya na talaga, saka siya mawawala..
~nagdadrama lang!~
Anyway, I am so pumped up about this field trip we are going to have by the end of the month. It will be for three days. I am excited and well, a bit worried. I am still not totally sure whether I'll go or not because there are some problems*financial*.. Sucky, isn't it?!
Wala lang. Napaisip lang ako. Napakasaya sigurong trip nun if ever buo ang block 23. Hay..
~naging masaya for a bit~
Dugo ilong. Feeling crappy. Talon sa building. Woooo.. LAB!
Ampf-ness! Sobrang daming kailangan asikasuhin. Well, eto na ang hinahanap ko. Pero, geez naman, nasobrahan ata! We have a long assignment in Comm I(well, nagpile up na kasi..) due tomorrow. Pero, buti na lang may PE bukas! On Friday, we will have a quiz on Bio Lecture. Pating! Sobrang dami nun! Everything about Plant Reproductive Parts.. Well, kaya un! Aja! We also have the uber to the nth level looooong Exercise 5 in Bio Lab on Friday. Buti na lang may history pagtapos ng mga bio subjects namin!
Pating talaga! (Pating(shark) is my expression for the week..) Grrr.. Kaya yan! Aja!
~gumulo ulit~
Pagtapos ng week na ito, magsisimula na ang Exam Week! Yey? Blech! Asa. Good luck na lang.Hanggang anong level kaya mamemeasure ang toxicity ko next week? Hehe. Good luck na lang.
Good luck sa akin!
~feeling optimistic~
april28 sensed inspiration at 12:41 AM.
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i love. i have loved. i will love.
