Monday, July 17, 2006
My Subconscious Speaks

*BEEP*
*Subconscious mind left a message*

And I thought I was OK with everything that happened in the past. All the time, I was friggin wrong. I wish I were though.

The smiles staged in those photographs are the ones that make me shrivel. I shrink to the smallest of all minute pieces. I feel so hollow and guilty. O ayan. Naaasar ako. Naiinggit ako. Naiirita ako. Naiimbyerna ako. Naaburido ako. I feel like I was deprived of something so special and so delicate. I really feel like I was left with nothing even if I was the one who gave up most of the love part.

Ganoon ba talaga kapag ikaw ang nag-give way? Arrgh, stupid April! At first, I thought it was all ok. She was a very close friend. He was cool and nice. It was ok. It is ok. That's what I thought. Now, I am really feeling envy and regret. Naku, what could this mean?! Grrr. I super don't like what I am right now. I mean, it is very unlikely for April to be so inconsiderate of her friends! Anu ba naman ako! Kailangang tanggapin ko na ito..

Gaah.. Help me remember to FORGET!

*End of message*

april28 sensed inspiration at 10:30 PM.
|

i love. i have loved. i will love.

---

M e

"I'm the kind of k i d
that can't let anything go
but you wouldn't know a g o o d thing
if it came up and slit your throat"

April Czareen Cruz
' ' apreeeL ' '
28th of April
student/poet/kid
PNU-CTL. Manila Science High School. UP-Manila
music freak
cyber junkie
jawbreaker(figure this one out!)
weird but really nice!

L o v e s
Kids. Music. Web Stuff. Jadis. My Friends. Photoshop. Gemma Ward!!! French Fries. The Sound of Music. Sandwich. I Capture the Castle. Cassandra Mortmain.

W i s h l i s t
I want...
a star of my own. a car. an electric guitar. a camera. to meet Sandwich. to go to Japan. my dreams to come true. world peace. high school back.

T a g

speak up, kid!

"Your r e m o r s e hasn't fallen on deaf ears rather ones that just don't care"

L i n k s

" we are salt - you are the wound"
Aaron
Abram
Angelin
April
Beverly
Biankee
Cez
Chynes
Claire
Dane
Danish
Diane
Edgar
Fatima
Fiona
Gem
Grace
Jaiskizzy
Jigs
Jochie
Jazzy
Justine L.
j-On-Na-ZeL
Jomar
Kath
Kim
Lanie
Megane-kun
Mikmik
Mnel
Nadine
Ninia
Sarah
Yasu

A r c h i v e s

"for the corpses of all my past mistakes"
April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007

C r e d i t s

My Heart is the Worst Kind of Weapon
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