Thursday, July 27, 2006
April?
Love+Clueless(Me) = Loveless(?!)
From today's events, I think I can fully say that I already forgot the feeling of being in love.
Err, of all people, ako ba talaga ito?! Hehe. Well, yeah. Basing on what I did kanina, you can say that when it comes to love, I am clueless. Grabe. While the girls are pouring their hearts out, talking about love and all, I was just sitting there, naka-indian seat, listening and eating popcorn. It's like I'm just watching them do what they got to do. Tapos ang replies ko pa whenever there was something a girl said about the "topic" ay "oo, sabi mo eh.". Para bang wala talaga akong kaalam-alam. Tapos, kaninang nanonood kami ng Mila sa Auditorium, when the characters were talking about their lovelives and how its important to them blahblah, I said, I think everyone heard me, "Sa panahon ngayon, hindi na nag-eexist ang tunay na pag-ibig!"(Naggagamitan lang tayo!).
Napakacynical!
Sa totoo lang, when I evaluated everything that I've said today, the thought literally scared my pants off! Hehe, it's like this is not the real me. Napaka-out of character nito para kay April. Well, kasi, when I'm my typical self, I'm really in love with LOVE. Mausisa ako pagdating sa ganitong topic. At, usually, may "say" ako sa mga ganitong bagay. Pero, bat ngayon? Huwaw. I'm at a loss of anything to say. Para naman akong nasaid na. What does this mean? Wala na ba talaga o sadyang napagod lang ako?
Hay... This should be the least of my concerns now. Pero, it's really weirding me out! Weird talaga!
Tulungan niyo naman akong matandaan yung feeling na yun. Help me remember how it felt.
*Kahit i-describe nyo lang, ok na! ehe..*
april28 sensed inspiration at 1:06 AM.
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i love. i have loved. i will love.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Appreciation
For someone...
Dido - Thank You
My tea's gone cold,
I'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and
I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad
I drank too much last night,
got bills to pay,
my head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today,
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply
that I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's not so bad,
it's not so bad
and I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life
Push the door, I'm home at last
and I'm soaking through and through
Then you hand me a towel
and all I see is you
And even if my house falls down,
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me
and I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life
You'll never know who will light up your day! It may be your closest friend(BFF) or someone you would never ever thnk is close to you personally. Weird man ung last pero mayroon talagang mga ganoong bagay na nangyayari. For that person who made me smile and who made my day, I'd have to say thank you!
See you tomorrow!
april28 sensed inspiration at 11:59 PM.
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i love. i have loved. i will love.
Monday, July 17, 2006
My Subconscious Speaks
*BEEP*
*Subconscious mind left a message*
And I thought I was OK with everything that happened in the past. All the time, I was friggin wrong. I wish I were though.
The smiles staged in those photographs are the ones that make me shrivel. I shrink to the smallest of all minute pieces. I feel so hollow and guilty. O ayan. Naaasar ako. Naiinggit ako. Naiirita ako. Naiimbyerna ako. Naaburido ako. I feel like I was deprived of something so special and so delicate. I really feel like I was left with nothing even if I was the one who gave up most of the love part.
Ganoon ba talaga kapag ikaw ang nag-give way? Arrgh, stupid April! At first, I thought it was all ok. She was a very close friend. He was cool and nice. It was ok. It is ok. That's what I thought. Now, I am really feeling envy and regret. Naku, what could this mean?! Grrr. I super don't like what I am right now. I mean, it is very unlikely for April to be so inconsiderate of her friends! Anu ba naman ako! Kailangang tanggapin ko na ito..
Gaah.. Help me remember to FORGET!
*End of message*
april28 sensed inspiration at 10:30 PM.
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i love. i have loved. i will love.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
No Regrets
Arggh. I have just realized that I have tons of stuff to do. And, I find myself doing other things other than those of my assignments. I really suck at managing things! I sure hope I could fix the problem as soon as possible. Help, anyone?
For the past few weeks, information overload has been my enemy. Grabe. I have learned so many things in such a short span of time. That's when toxicity enters. Now, I don't know what to do first and what to do next. Nakakawindang sya ha but I still think that somehow, someway, my brain can still cope with the demands and the times. If ever my brain suddenly stops functioning, kill me because what's the sense of my existence when I can't even understand a thing. Understanding a certain process or concept is really the key to MY acadamic progress so what's the sense of going to school when you can't relate to what the teacher explains to you. So, do you still think that my resolve is shallow? Maybe but really, you can't say that unless you experience what I am facing right now.
But, after all that has been said, I am proud to say that I have no regrets(as of the time I am writing this!). I chose the path I am running/walking/striding/crawling right now. That is one consolation, I get to choose! I really feel sorry for all the people who said that they regret entering the university they are in now. Para bang, hindi sila handa at hindi nila pinag-isipan yung college. College is such a critical part of one's life and then, you let someone else make the decision for you. It's like pinamimigay mo na yung responsibility mo sa buhay mo sa iba. It's like giving the wheel to a stranger. Yes, it's hard kasi nandyan ka na. What I am trying to point is, panindigan mo na kung anumang meron ka ngayon.
Sana lang hindi ako masyadong serious. Hehe. Sige...
april28 sensed inspiration at 1:33 AM.
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i love. i have loved. i will love.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Serious Mental Torture 2
*Tagalog na may kapiranggot na Ingles*
Come on. Now, I am really, really confused! Nakakaloko ka ah..!
Tsk. Sana, alam mo, friends na lang talaga tayo para wala nang mangyaring hindi inaasahan. Harhar. Nakakaasar ka. Charming ka kasi. Bwiset.. ^_^.
Napakabait mo talaga. Bibigyan na kita ng isang higanteng award para sa iyong kabaitan! Grr. Grr. Grr. Nakakaasar ka talaga! Ang bait-bait mo..! Hindi ka tao, pramis.. Hindi ka totoong tao.. Grr. ^_^.
May narinig ako kagabi. Napakasaklap. Arggg.. Pero ayos lang. Wait, ayos nga lang ba? Matapos kong namnamin ang narinig ko.. Paulit-ulit itong um-echo sa aking isipan. Tae. Nasasaktan na ako. Aba, masama kayo. Talagang masama kayo. Buti na lang may shock absorber ako. Kaya yun.. naging ayos na ako. Wait ulit, ayos na ba talaga ako?
Hindi talaga. -_-
****
Brighter Side of Life
Wuiii. Freshmen Night kagabi sa college namin. Aba'y akalain mong napakasaya ng mga tao dun kahit na napaka-toxic ng lugar. Hah! Masaya naman pala dito eh.. Masaya pala..
Shet. tumugtog kami ng mga kanta dun eh bilang presentasyon. Aye naku, salamat sa Block 23! Mahal ko na kayo! Wooot! Dun naman sa isang sumigaw: mamatay ka na sa gutom! Nyahahahaha.. tae. Anu ba naman toh. Buti na lang nandun si Gayle! Grrrr... *rawr*.
Basta salamat sa suporta, Block 23! Astig kayo! At, salamat na rin sa nag-organize nung event(as if, mababasa to ng mga un), astig din kayo, mga kuya at ate!
Mabuhay ang College of Pharmacy!
Woohooo!
april28 sensed inspiration at 10:06 AM.
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i love. i have loved. i will love.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Serious Mental Torture
I choke on your words.
As of now, I am undergoing serious mental torture caused by my newfound friend, Gayle. I really like that girl. But, she said something that made me want to burn myself to death. Hehe. Exaggerating? Yes but the effect's still the same.
I laugh at your nobility.
I thought I already heard giggles. I ignored them. But, it bugs me how everything I dreamt of turned into pieces. How fast time flies. And, how easy deception poisons the mind. Come on, if you were put on a position wherein the one you like becomes the one you totally abhor because of a very likely incident, how would you react?
I puke on your kindness.
The perfect gentleman description fits you to a tee. I hate you for that. Why can't you be mean at one point in your life?
...
Brigher Side of Life
I know, I know, this may seem extremely late but I just wanted to tell you that I felt super-duper happy when Red Bull won the semis last Sunday! The last 3 seconds were amazing! Grabe. It's like one of the things I'd love to capture and keep inside my heart. OA? No! Of course not! Sobrang love ko lang sila. Hehe. Oh what joy would winning the Finals for the second time in a row bring! Haha.. I can't wait to watch the start of the Finals.
...
april28 sensed inspiration at 10:05 PM.
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i love. i have loved. i will love.
