April Inside.

Midmorning

2007-10-13T09:06:00.000+08:00

Everything we know is falling. We are falling apart. My mind has been faced with new distractions.. and destructions. And I know that yours is troubled too.

This is hopeless. My efforts and yours are put to test right now. Will we make through? I wish. I hope. Will we able to push through like the things that we've planned for in the past few days? Will we make it?

I'm tired. You're distressed. We both know that we need a lot right now. And by a lot, I mean A LOT. We need to talk but we're too tired and stressed to talk. We barely have time. Can we make time? Can we?

I'm out of focus. I'm distantly wishing for something better to happen. I'm wishing you were here to bring that smile back.. and that warmth. I wish to stars for your return..... return to me.

I feel so inadequate for you. I feel so inadequate ...without you.

The Neverending Day

2007-10-03T00:34:00.000+08:00

Shh. Can you keep a secret?

It all started with that. The neverending day seemed like just an ordinary day. But in reality it wasn't. I woke up early and I absolutely went for the computer just to check some things since I haven't been online for a good number of days. With the internet, I did my usual rounds on the websites which I frequent the most. I found some interesting things and things that somewhat made me miss high school all over again.

It was something out of the ordinary though since (1) I somewhat prepared everything all by myself and (2) I really wanted to go to class early. For some reason, I was excited that morning. And then, rain poured down. Thank you sunny weather but I think the rain's here to stay. So, I decided to negotiate with my father. He did take me to school but I liked it since that way, I'll have time to put on my socks. Anyway, after the ride, I arrived at the school at about 7:20, around that. The funny thing is our teacher was not yet there so it gave me time to do some things for that subject. Eventually, our teacher came and discussed the remaining chapters of Chinua Achebe's Things Fall Apart, which in my opinion, is a very sad story.

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.
-The Second Coming, W.B. Yeats

The usual happened on Physics. I got so sleepy that I was at some time, just pretending to listen but actually, I was just staring at my notes with my head bowed down. It was such a predicament. Super lakas ng kamandag ng antok noon mga panahong iyon.

After physics, we have to wait for 4 pm just to have our last class. IT was only 10 am at that time. SO we had 10am to 4pm to do some things. We decided to watch our impromptu speeches, which were video-recorded by our lovable teacher(!). I really laughed when it was my turn to watch myself. It was such a weird feeling but it was a good experience. Our instructor was super nice, IS super nice and he answers questions during consultation hours adequately. I like him very much, honestly.

After watching, we went to the mall to eat. We ate together, the whole 12 of us. It was a very interesting and funny conversation. Almost eveyrone was laughing at some point in time. The rain continued to pour when we made our way back to UPM for a physics class. A few steps away from the room, someone already told us that the teacher was absent and there will not be a class. Everyone was in a frenzy since their lab reports are due the next day. Almost all of them were doing the same quali reports except maybe one, and that is Gayle, who happens to be my regarded best adviser and partner when it comes to oddities and weirdness.

I was all the time with her doing crazy stuff and other things like making noise, impersonating people and singing karaoke tunes. I really enjoyed her company if she only knew. After that, the chaos was boiling up. Along the way, some part of me wanted to become bitchy in a sense since I was bitching with my other classmates. Yes, I was kind-of PMS-ing. Basta, the same nasty behavior. So, I decided to ignore almost everyone who is connected to me in some way, in Humanities. So, I hung out with Gayle and well, the invisible war ensued. In the four corners of the room, some people irritated me. And unfortunately, these people were also aware of this fact. But, since it is an invisible war, no one was entirely vocal about it. It was static, all over again.

Gayle and I went to the library to look for some resources for our History project/presentation. But before that, I told her a secret since it has been a long time since we had the oppportunity to talk like this. I disclosed my problemsa and grievances to her and it did feel a lot more comfortable to finally get rid of the skeletons in my closet. While in the library however, the invisible war waged on when a classmate finally confronted me regarding my behavior and my bitching and how it affected the work of our HUmanities group. At first, I was just shocked about what happpened. I wasn't really expecting that to happen. But at that time, that was the least of my concerns so I devoted much of the time spent in the library in researching for History.

After borrowing 2 books, we went out for our history class. But again, a few lengths away form the room, somebody told me that there was no more history class. We sort-of rejoiced and I finally talked to and settled the score with my classmate who had confronted me in the Reserved section of the library. We settled the dispute while walking to his place. But, instantaneously, I backed out at finishing the 'Oedipus' script after seeing the flood water in Pedro Gil. I went home and jst texted some people. A lot of good news and bad news started spreading. And once I again, I talked to that classmate/friend again to settle everything. The fascinating thing is I think I have learned more and discovered more things about that classmate/friend and insights about life from the conversation than the lectures that we had discussed that day.

The neverending day eventually ended with that. Overall, I consider this day a total crapfest. (a lot of bad things happened!) BUt honestly, I like how it all ended.

Ang Proseso

2007-09-16T01:33:00.000+08:00

Huhupa din ang unos at sa wakas, makakahinga ka na rin. Wag ka nang mag-alinlangan. Dumating na ang araw mo, ang iyong hinihintay, ang iyong pinakaaasam.

Ihahanap mo ng pwesto ang iyong sarili. Hahanapin ang perpektong posisyon. Mararamdaman mo ang lambot ng unan sa iyong ulo at ang lambot ng iyong kamang damang-dama ng bawat nerve ending sa iyong likod. Galaw-galaw para komportable. Hanapin mo ang spot na iyon. Take your time. You have all the time in the world now that you have no more things to do. Take time to find that perfect spot. Umikot-ikot ka, gusto mo gumulong ka pa e. Salatin mo lahat ng parte ng kama hanggang sa unti-unting nagiging sensitibo na ang iyong balat at maramdaman mo na ang bawat spring na nakapaloob dito. Matapos mong hanapin ang tamang spot. Ipatay mo na yung desk lamp mo na hiniram mo lang sa iyong mabait na pinsan. Naglaho na ang liwanag at pumasok na ang kadiliman. Sa iilang mga segundo, magliliwanag muli at makikita mo ang mga glow in the dark moons and stars na idinikit mo nung first year high school ka pa lang sa may kisame. Ang ganda nila. Iisipin mo na lang na ganyan lang din ang kalangitan kapag nakahiga ka sa isang field at pinagmamasdan ang langit. Nakakapawi ng pagod ang pagtingin sa mga ito. Nakakaginhawa sa pakiramdam. AT ngayon, nag-iisip ka na naman ng mga bagay-bagay na isinantabi mo pero nakatengga pa rin sa utak mo. Maiisip mo lahat hanggang sa magpasya kang magpahinga na lang. Ipinikit mo nang unti-unti ang iyong mga mata at patuluyang lumayo mula sa iyo ang mga butuin at buwan. Pare-parehas silang nawawala sa kadiliman ng gabi at ng kwarto mong kasinlaki ng banyo nyo. Sa wakas, sarado na ang mga mata. Pinid na ang mga ito at tuluyan mo na ring nararamdaman na unti-unti kang nahuhulog patungo sa kawalan, kung saan ang linya sa pagitan ng katotohanan at imahinasyon ay wala na at kung saan ang memorya mo ay hindi kasing-talas ng kutsilyong gagamitin mo dapat nung isang araw sa paghiwa ng kalamansi. Nararamdaman mo na. ang sarap. Ang. Sarap.

A Birthday

2007-09-04T06:58:00.000+08:00

Christina Rossetti - A Birthday
My heart is like a singing bird
Whose heart is in a watered shoot:
My heart is like an apple-tree
Whose boughs are bent with thickset fruit;
My heart is like a rainbow shell
That Paddles in a halcyon sea;
My heart is gladder than all these
Because my love is come to me.

Raise me dais of silk and down;
Hang it with vair and purple dyes;
Carve it in doves and pomegranates,
And peacocks with a hundred eyes;
Work it in gold and silver grapes,
In leaves and silver fleurs-de-lys;
Because the birthday of my life
Is come, my love is come to me.

******************************************************
I stumbled upon this poem while I was searching for something substantial for our coming poetry interpretation for our Humanities class. It's such a happy picture, isn't it? Kind of reminds me of something else. Oh well.

The saga of wild mood swings ensues..

The wait is over

2007-08-23T22:59:00.000+08:00

And I can cry now. After days of agony, I have seen them finally. And... I SO didn't like my results.

I guess that's life.. NOT! It's so *bleeping* unfair. And, well, I only got myself to blame. Yeah, that's what I think! But can you blame me for not feeling entirely good for everything? Yes? No?

Bah! To hell with it all! I have to start anew! Hopefully, I can make up for it on the next exam. I need to pass this subject so bad that I would cry for it. Hehehe.

Wait, I already did cry for it! Hooray for my self-esteem level.................................*uggh* kill me.

Hell-O School

2007-08-20T19:05:00.000+08:00

The girl who wants to LIVE inside her school, through some twist of fate, doesn't want to go back to school anymore.. Or at least, that's what her mind is saying right now.

Ayoko pa pumasok. T_T Kasi napakarami ko pa palang kailangang gawin at aralin. Nakakairita talaga. Andaming gagawin! Sana magawa ko ito lahat. Hayayay... Sana lang.

Sige na, may pasok pa ko bukas at kakain pa akong patito chips e.. Babay.

Resorcinol Test!!!

2007-08-18T20:24:00.000+08:00

Sino bang nakakaalam kung ano ang RESORCINOL TEST? Ilang araw ko na rin yung hinahanap. Pambihira. Ano ba ang RESORCINOL TEST at ano ang visible results nito kapag Dicarboxylic Acids ang test compounds mo? Grabeeeeeeeeeeeee na to. Nawiwindang, nangangarag at naguguluhan na ako... Bwiset.

It's Christmas!

2006-12-25T02:12:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! Hehe..

I just want to wish you all a very merry christmas! I am having fun here in my home with the family being present and all. Wala lang. Gusto ko lang mambati at sabihin ito. By the way, this will be my 51st post. Gah. I am so lame when it comes to attending to this blog. Well, sometimes kasi wala na talaga akong masulat. Hahaha.

Anyway, I watched MTV Homecoming yesterday. They featured Kiko Machine. I love that band! I think they're cool since they're quirky and all. They are really funny! Watch that episode! Hehe. The school featured was UP Diliman's CFA. They were Fine Arts students and they talked about a lot of their experiences when they were in college. Natawa talaga ako at na-amaze sa CFA. Hay grabe. Ngayon naman, gusto ko na tuloy pumasok sa CFA. Haha. Well, at some point way back then, everyone in our family thought that I'd be taking up Fine Arts in college. Well, who would have thought that everything will change. Haha. But, still, the show led me to some reconsidering and second thinking. Hehe. I'll leave it at that. Dream ko na lang siya. Or, di naman kaya, pagtapos ng Pharm, FA naman. Haha. Wow, ang galing ka naman. Pero, sabi ko nga, iwan ko na lang siya sa state na iyon.

AT, ngayon, fan na ako ng Kiko Machine. ^__^ at ng Urbandub at ng Join the Club at ng Itchyworms at ng Hilera! Hehe.. adik na adik ako sa banda this christmas season. Haha.

Well, ayan, wala na akong masabi. Sige na, Merry Christmas to everyone!!! (ulit)

I Heart CP!

2006-12-16T21:23:00.000+08:00

First of all, I'd just like to say that I super love UP CP.

Last Thursday was UP Manila's Lantern Parade. The College of Pharmacy was the overall champion in the parade. (go CP! Hehe..) Well, I'm just so, so proud of what CP has earned. And, we were all thankful to those who noticed the effort we have exerted on making the lantern, the facade and the cheers. The people of CP really worked hard for everything. Preparations were made weeks before the actual event and most of the stuff to be entered in the contests were already ready a few days before the parade. Everything was on schedule and thankfully, everything pushed through. Yes, even the cheer. The show was great. Even though our feet ached really hard and our voices were not our actual voices anymore, it was all worth it. The cheering, screaming, jumping and clunking of recycled bottles were all worth it. After all, we were, ARE, the champion.

I'm extremely proud of that! And extremely happy too! I can't explain the happiness that I felt in that particular day. Uggh, it's very tedious to explain the feeling simply because I ran out of words to describe it. Hehe.

Life in the college is extremely toxic. I'm only in my first year and I already feel the toll of everything that CP stands for, toxicity. Haha. Well, really, I think I just need a great deal of discipline and perseverance to be able to survive. This event really opened my eyes because I admit that there are times that I really want to get my ass out of the college because of the toxicity. This event let me see the fact that even if life in the college is oh-so toxic, students can still have a grand time and excel in detox activities like this. I just thought to myself that if the ates and kuyas in the fourth and fifth year made it that far, I can also do what I think is impossible and that is to reach their level. If they can do it, I can to. Di ba? Hehe.

Well, hopefully next year, we can put up another spectacular showcase of the talent behind the toxicity. Next year will be our turn. Hehe. One last thing that I can say is that I have never felt one with a whole bunch of people(some I don't really know) in a long time. Everyone was just so determined to win and everyone was so united. Wah! Love ko na talaga ang CP!

P-H-A-R-M-A-C-Y.. Pharmacy!
go Pharm!

Wish ko lang

2006-12-03T09:13:00.000+08:00

Even though I had 4 days of 'vacation', I am still loaded with ASSignments. Grabe. Nakakaasar. Andami nilang pinapagawa sa amin. My teachers are really unforgiving.

Deadline is on this, that.. {most likely, one day after the announcement of the
deadline}

You have to pass this before 10 am. {grrr..}

We will have a quiz next meeting. Madali lang basta read chapters 1-3.
{wow..}

Alam nyo na naman yan from Math17. Madali na lang yan sa inyo.. {nyek! math17?}

At eto pa..

May quiz next meeting. Self-study na lang kayo*leaves* {whoa?!}

Grabe. Nangyayari yan. At, nakakainit ng dugo. Laht ng iyan, idagdag mo pa sa ibang problemang personal. Hindi ba pwedeng ganito na lang sabihin nila...

O, alam ko na pagod na pagod na kayong lahat. Wag na tayo mag-quiz. Maglaro na
lang tayo!

I'm sorry. Sobrang aga pala ng deadline. Let me change it to (random date, a
week after the announcement)

Ito, gusto kong marinig...

"Alam nyo ba, narealize ko na napaka-inconsiderate kong teacher. Napagtanto
ko iyon dahil sa inyo. Unfair ang pagse-set ko ng
deadlines. Aminado ako dun kaya dapat akong maparusahan. *may tears na
dito* Kaya naman, class, dahil sa nagawa kong kasalanan, you are all
dismissed.
Wala tayong class for the whole week para ma-rethink ko ang mga
kailngan ko
talagang gawin at bilang kapatawaran sa nagawa kong kasalanan."

Grabe. How I wish..!

Expect the Unexpected

2006-11-25T22:20:00.000+08:00

I got the golden ticket!

...Not!

It's like in Willy Wonka, wherein the other "mean kids" get what they think they want but in the end, it ends up causing their demise(demise? death? haha..). Luckily for me, it resulted only to misfortune.. loads of it. Haha. I've had my share of embarassment for a whole 30/40/60 minutes. At, pagkatapos ng said event, I wanted to wear a bayong over my head.

Let's start where all the misfortune sparked. It was 7:30 am and I was there at the school. I never really had sleep that night since I slept at 1 am. Anyway, it was 7:30 and there was no sign whatsoever of any type of transportation we would take for a trip to Pasig, our destination. While the freshmen were waiting for their rides, the upperclassmen were already setting up and eventually, opening our College's sportsfest, Olymp-mix. At last, 9 am came and the jeeps came running in. Unfortunately, not all 4 jeeps could ever contain all of the students taking up the NSTP-LTS subject. Still, we left with cramped spaces in our jeeps and the feeling of moist and heat all over our bodies. It was all good until horrid traffic stood in our way. Anyway, the trip lasted for 1.5 hours(10:30 na!) and that leaves us with another 1.5 hours to teach something to the children(since our class ends at noon). We went on and apologized to the children but it was still fun, we still had fun in that minimum span of time.

So, we went back to Manila for our college's sportsfest. This is as crazy as hell and I wasn't really prepared for almost all the things that happened today. Grabe. We(my classmates and I) were just victims of the system, the sportsfest's system. Handlers of the sportsfest just grabbed anyone who has a freshman standing to play in whatever sport that needs a freshman representative. Unluckily for me, even though I just intended to be a spectator in all that's happening, I was dragged into the whole madness that bounds the said event. And it was a double treat(or threat since I'm being oh-so-sarcastic here) for me, since (1) I get to play on something even though I don't have any equipment, outfit and preparation to play on any sport or game there and (2) The game I get to play on is BASKETBALL. I love the game(as the quote goes) and I love watching it and I'm a big fan of PBA and NBA but that's just about it. As much as I like basketball, I really don't have a clue on actually playing it. But, I was still dragged into it even if I wore jeans and sandals at that moment. Hay. My moment of shame starts at the moment I heard the whistle of the referee. GAME! I did my part of defending even if my feet were killing me. And, there came a point wherein I really wanted to place a bayong just to cover my face and the shame.

The surprising thing is, I actually liked it in the end even if we didn't win(30-38 in favor of the Sophomores). My feet were killing me and I really feel sweaty and stuff but at least, I get to experience the experience! I made mental notes on what to do next year so that I will be prepared for the unexpected. Sana lang magawa ko siya.

So, now I really feel tired. I need sleep. So, I guess this is goodbye. See you next time.

Daming Nangyari!

2006-11-18T21:41:00.000+08:00

Woo. Andaming nangyari today. Sa sobrang dami, by the time I got home, I found myself completely powerless. Grabe talaga.

I woke at about 6:10 in the morning for my NSTP class/field trip/tutorial. Well, in our NSTP-LTS class, we are "volunteer tutors" who teach reading to small children in public schools. We went to Ilugin Elementary School in Pasig today. And, we met our tutees. Our pair was assigned to the Grade 3 students. I thought to myself, "What a relief!".. but, yun ang akala ko! Grabe. I just want to help those kids read straight English. I kind of feel sorry for them because it's so sad that most of them still have problems in reading simple English words even if they are in Grade 3 level. I just want to help them!

For students, we picked the group which is composed of three small boys. They were Marknold, Ray Jay and Joseph. They look really small for their ages. Grabe talaga. Napapaisip tuloy ako sa kalagayn ng mga batang ito. Ayokong maawa pero naaawa ako kasi nakakalungkot talaga. Kung meron lang akong limpak-limpak na salapi! Hay....

Anyway, the kids are really obedient and orderly. Grabe. When we say sit down, they would sit down(except sa break time!). Unlike the other kids, they are more subdued. Hindi sila ganoon ka-pasaway. I was really amazed when they started to arrange the chairs properly and when Ray Jay started to carry the trash cans with lots of trash(duh!) so he could throw them downstairs. I was like 0_0. And then, ^__^. He's so cute and nice too. He knows his responsibilities even if he's only 8. Whoa! He's even more disciplined than me! Another thing that endears me with the kids is that when they were asked what things or chores they usually do in their spare time at home, they all said that they liked to clean their homes and take care of their siblings. Nakakabilib talaga sila even if hindi sila ganun ka-galing sa Reading or something. At least, they have good manners and values! ^_^ And when it's time to go home, they all said their "Teacher, babay po." Hay.. in fairness, masarap sa pakiramdam. Well, makikita ko ulit sila next Saturday. ^__^ Can't wait.

After going to Pasig, we went back to Manila. My blockmates and I decided to watch the Junior Federation Chapter of the Philippine Pharmaceutical Association Sportsfest. Inter-pharmacy school ang labanan nito kaya nakakatuwa. Sobrang sinuportahan naman namin ang UP CP kaya ayon, nagtatagumpay naman. Napakagaling talaga ng mga tao sa CP. Mahal ko na sila! Damn! Hehe. Nakakagulat kaya kasi ang gagaling nila tapos ang TOXIC ng life sa CP. Nakakabilib talaga! :D Mahal ko na sila at ang UP CP. Sa lahat ng taga-CP, ayos lang yan. Marami pang taon na susunod. Marami pang test ang darating para masubok ang mga sarili natin. Kaya, kaya natin yan! *Next time talaga, mag-ggrowl na ako pag nag-cheer. Hehe.. Death metal ba? JOke.

Ayan. cge na. Next time na lang. Gusto ko pang magbasa ng Pharmaceutical Calculations.

Bye.

Second Turn

2006-11-13T21:57:00.000+08:00

Mabuhay ka kasi binabasa mo pa rin ito.

Today is the first day of classes. We are officially in our second semester this year. Wehehehe. And, I'm excited. Honestly, 'the day' wasn't all that! There has to be something wrong amidst the excitement. Grabe. The thing is, we didn't have an exact first 'day'. We only had about two plus hours of class. Well, technically, it's not a class since there's no teacher present and there's no lesson being discussed. What's funny is if you would measure the amount of time that there is actually a teacher present, you would only come up with 30 minutes. So, nabawasan pa ang 2++ hours part na iyon. Hehe. Well, this 'figures' may arise from the fact that I am suppose to have only 2 classes today.

That's another thing. My schedule is really wicked. Haha. You see, for Monday and Thurday, I only have 2 or 3 classes and for Tuesday and Friday, I am fully loaded with 5-6 classes. On Saturday, I'll have my nstp and on Wednesday, I don't have a class. Wicked, isn't it? I wanted to post this also. Here are my subjects for the sem: Comm II, Chem 14, IP 121, Psych 10, History 3, Math100, PE 1 FPF. Wala lang. Give me warning on the subjects that I should be watching out for. Hehe. :D

Well, you wouldn't care at all even if I just divulged my sched for this sem. But, I still posted it ne? Hehe. Wala lang. Feel ko lang. Care mo ba? Haha.

Hanggang dito na lang. I need to get up early for my 7 am class tomorrow. Bye.

Victory

2006-10-30T23:07:00.000+08:00

I should start thanking gazillion of my lucky stars because I have done the unthinkable.

Believe it or not. I have passed my number one problem subject, Math17! I am really, really thankful to God because He heard our prayers. Well, I can't really say much since I'm all squirming inside. Hmm.. How can I explain what I'm feeling right now? Well, majority of April would be secretly dancing her victory dance inside but still part of her is still in shock with all taht has happened. Seriously, it just feels good to pass a subject again. And, it feels a lot more fantastic passing Math17. Imagine I could take the IMPORTANT subjects that Math17 is a pre-requisite of. (at ang dami nito ah!)

I'm just ecstatic. I don't even have the words to express what I'm exactly feeling. But, I definitely learned one thing. And that is I need to study more! I could have done better with my other subjects. Well, let's just hope that next semester's performance will be as good(or better) as this semester's.

Bye Math17!

Hello Chem14, IP 121 and Math100!

The Prestige

2006-10-26T22:02:00.000+08:00

I decided to watch the movie The Prestige today. If you're wondering what that movie is about, the movie is the one about MAGIC, how magicians perform the tricks and how important secrets are in a magician's life.

There is real magic and there is just magic(commercial magic? ack! terms...). Haha. It is really fascinating to imagine that there is "real magic" in this world. Spoiler Alert! In the movie, real magic was described by the "cloning ability" of Tesla's machine. Real magic was all about events that anyone could never have imagined to be possible(like cloning and stuff). I really, really like how the movie is presented. Even if, it's kind of complicated in the first parts, I still enjoyed it sicne it's really a movie full of twists and turns. When you get to watch the entire film, you'll realize that everything in the movie made sense. I suggest that after watching the movie, watch it again! Hehe. I really feel that you will see how everything is related through a second viewing. it's just so fun to watch because you'll be able to say "Oo nga no!".

I super love the theme. And, I super duper love the actors. All of them look extremely good! Especially, Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale and, OMG, my super crush, Scarlett Johansson!!! I have really fallen in like with her! She was so hot in the movie!! Haha. In fairness, their acting performances are commendable. I really like Michael Caine. He was amazing for the role of Cutter. I was like, "This old man's good"(pertaining to his character) because it is as if he was always there and he had a gazillion connections and he knew a lot about magic! Hehe. I like him na. Hehe. All in all, the actors were all good and... hot. Well, most of them. :D

Oi, i-add ko lang. Nikola Tesla was kind of featured in the movie. May appearance baga. I really like that guy even if ayon sa History at Science, weirdo at baliw daw siya. Siguro kasi napaka-imaginative lang niya at inspired by his imagination ang karamihan ng kanyang inventions. Saka ang astig ng name niya. If ever magkaroon ako ng anak, papangalanan ko siyang Nikola. Haha. Anyway, I really like his part in the movie. Heck, real magic! Hehe. Astig talaga.

Well, all I can say is watch the movie and be in awe with Magic!
^_^

Home

2006-10-16T18:54:00.000+08:00

This is somewhat reminiscent of Dear Paul by Barbie Almalbis. Only better. Hehe.

***
I really never knew what happened ever since I saw your face again. It was like memories of the past flood me. I know that we don't have much to say since we didn't have much last year. I know that there wasn't really any confirmation whatsoever about where we stand but I just thought. I just thought. ~Get over it.

The day was ordinary. The scene was extremely happy. There were smiles. There were little passed-on notes. There were greetings and girls squirming. Everything, everyone was there. Again, memories blew upon me like the winds of Milenyo. It was so sickening. It was annoying since I still look for you. ~Get over it.

You cannot say that you didn't love me. Come on, that would be hypocrisy. You sheltered me while everything kept on falling down. You taught me everything I have ever known. You showed me truth. You showed me how beautiful life is if I let it shine. Come on, you taught me a lot of things. You taught me how to love and let go. ~Get over it.

Every corner I turn, I linger for that feeling you bring me. I crave. Everything I see I compare to you. I long for the sunny days and dark nights. I long for afternoons of fudgee bars and chuckie's. I long for those midmorning walks along the corridor. I long to be at your place. I long to be by your side. ~Get over it.

But, you were always there. I pass you everytime I go to school. I have loved the sight of you ever since I was a child. Yes, you are always there but why do I feel a gap between us? Yes, you are always there but we are not together now. And it sucks. We have been together for four years. And, I know that it has only been six months but it feels like years. I can't get over it. I can't get over you.

I miss you, Masci.

***

My trip last Friday to Masci's Foundation was really an emotional rollercoaster ride. I felt a lot of things during that day. I got mixed up with all the drama. And, honestly I miss that little booger. Masci, I mean. I never thought that it would be this dramatic. I was extremely surprised then happy then sad then envious.

Surprise! I never really knew that Masci could look this good. The floors were all made up of shiny and gleaming white tiles! The walls were repainted. It was all blue. The bulletin boards were 'made-up'. It was all colorful and stuff! Hehe. Excuse my horrid descriptions. Anyway, when Danish and I decided to take a tour in OUR campus(It still is!), we saw a lot of different and CLEAN stuff. The infamous Roentgen Room was extremely neat. And, it actually looked like a classroom! Imagine that! I just loved that room but unfortunately it was locked. Sayang! I'd give 100 bucks just to see the 'Kapitan heart Jang Geum' I wrote on that wall! My first actual school violation was made there! And now it's all squiky clean. Hay, panahon nga naman! And, new principal nga naman! I was really happy taht everything was so clean. But, when we got to the quadrangle, it was chaos. There were booths again! After two boring years, nagkaroon ulit! At, nagbalik rin after two years ang... jenjenjenjen ...BASAAN. Masci na muli siya!!!

Can you say fun? With every bit of chaos present everywhere, we decided to go forth into the battlefield. Kung ako lang, mambabato ako ng water balloon! We interviewed an unsuspecting freshman in the Math Department. The scene looked like something out of a mafia movie. We asked him about the school, that day's event and everything. After that, we decided to steal a math book, the one by Leithold. He seemed terrified pero ayos lang naman daw siya sabi niya. After threatening to steal books from the Department and joking with the kid, Danish and I decided to look for our dear teachers. We saw Mam Lucena which was a surprise to us since she still know us after all the Senior Year drama. We went to Mam Quintal and witnessed that she is still working with her students. She seemed exhausted so we didn't bother her anymore. We went out and looked for Mam Diaz but sadly, she already left according to our classmates. I really miss that woman! Who knew that looking for teachers could be this fun? After all the things they did to us. Hehe.

It's all coming back to me now. There was the exhibition of the bands. We decided to watch it. We went to the Bibbo corner. We saw a lot of our old batchmates. We saw old familiar faces. We saw everyone and by that we mean everyone. I saw someone. Wala, tapos na yun. While watching the show, it made me rethink of my days at High School. I was really GC then but I was extremely happy. What can I say? I have a weird sense of happiness. I have fun with fun! I loved everyone and everything about high school. Who knew that the pain was so immense when I returned to the school? I missed it a lot! I missed everyone! While the bands played, I was extremely envious with all the mascians inside masci. I envied the whole idea of their lives revolving around the four buildings of the school.

I don't want to be called an emotional basketcase. I just really miss something very dear to me. It sounded quite emo, doesn't it? Well, I am dramatic and this is drama so get over it. I just wanted to release my thoughts. To be honest, the idea that I am not in High School anymore still brings me to tears.

But that's life. Got to move on. Go UP! ^_^

Eyecandy

2006-10-08T22:18:00.000+08:00

Today was our finals for PE2 Phil Games. It was all good until disaster struck.

We had 2 players who were missing so we had to make adjustments. Some who were not suppose to be playing on a particular game participated on it. Well, I'm one of them. I really don't feel that our block is ready for the finals. We were all thinking about other stuff like projects and papers for our other subjects. That's why some of us thought that maybe our hearts weren't in it.

I really don't like how they handled the games. The stupid garters for the legged race sucked since they tore apart. They didn't even reset the time or something. I also don't like how the players acted. Naku, fasyown na fasyown pa rin. Parang hindi pabilisan. Yung iba naman, sa sobrang kabilisan, nagkakamali naman. Ewan ko ba, para bang napakagulo. It was hell. There was no support whatsoever shown for the players. There were no encouragement whatsoever. It sucked that we didn't even win a single game. Hay...

Can you hear me saying total disaster?

But, yes, yes, it's fun, at some point. I wasted money going from Manila to Quezon City. I absorbed most of Manila's pollution. Nakaladkad ako sa lupa ng Sunken Garden. At, sa lahat ng iyan, I was not given the chance to "dive in the flour". Yun na nga lang ang pinakaaabangan ko.

Oh yes, it was fun.

Something caught my eye. And, it literally knocked my socks off. Naku, andun siya. In all my high school girl-ness glory, I squirmed at the sight of him. Then I knew that he sat at the stage, wherein people can see what's happening with the players. Eh, since yung game wherein nakaladkad ako sa lupa happened in the part where the whole stage can see it, I was really devastated. Feeling ko tuloy, natawa siya or something kasi for him, I'm just an ordinary mortal who got herself crawling on the ground with mud on her shoes at nagkamali. Holy crap, bawi na lang sa poise. Heheh...

Hay... ang cute niya talaga. Ang galing pa sa Acads. Tsk.

Darating rin ang araw... bukas. ^_^

Minamalas

2006-10-07T13:59:00.000+08:00

Put down the books. They wouldn't help you anymore.

...uhhh...

Cramming sucks! Nakakaasar talaga. Mahirap talaga kapag hindi ka handa. Nakakaasar talaga. Yesterday was hell day! Imagine, 3 tests na sunod2. Tatlong bigating tests! At, nagkaroon pa ng aberya. Here's the whole story. We were super studying/cramming in the first period. We didn't even notice our teacher go inside the room. After that period, we went to our next class, in which we will have the first of the three exams. SO, aun. We waited in the classroom. After 30 minutes, wala pa rin si Sir so we went to the Department of Biology. They said that our teacher was absent but the exam will still commence. Sabi namin, nalagas na ang 30 minutes nung test at sayang naman yung time na yun. So, sabi ni Mam, after na lang ng Lab Exam namin. Nag-OK na lang kami kasi well, wala naman kaming magagawa. Pero, pagtalikod sa department, sabi ko, WTF!!?!!?! Hindi pa ako nakakapag-aral sa Lab. Ayun, pero nag-go pa rin kami. Good luck naman sa akin, db?!

Pero, may nangyari pang isa, nagkaroon ako ng pag-asa dito. Nagpasya ang dalawang sections ng Lab na simultaneous na kunin ang dalawang Bio subjects. So, ang mangyayari, habang nag-laLab Exam ang isa, mga-leLec Exam ang isa. Nabuhayan ako ng loob. So, toss coin na. Buruin mo yun., sa amin parin yung Lab. Iiyak na talaga ako nun. Actually, naiyak na talaga ako. Anyway, on with the test!

Hayop ang test sa Lab! Mabangis! hehe.. Seryoso. Tapos nun Lec Exam naman, ayus lang naman siya kaso ang sama naman ng aking pakiramdam. Para akong lalagnatin. Ang pangit kasi talaga ng lab room na iyon(doon kami nag-Lec exam). Kalahati ng katawan mo, naka-subject sa lamig ng aircon tapos yung kalahati naman, naka-subject sa singaw at init nung room. Stupid talaga. Mahilo-hilo ako dun!

At syempre, ang pinakahihintay ng lahat! Ang History Exam! Sobrang ito ang dahilan ng lahat ng pinaggagawang adjustments sa Bio subjects namin. Paano ba naman kasi nais pa namang makapag-aral sa subject na ito.! ANyway, sobrang tense na ako dun sa test na iyon. Pagkakuha nung questionnaire, dali-dali akong nagsasagot ng mga kaya pang sagutan. So, ayon, para akong makina. Pero, syempre, hindi naman 100% efficient ang machines, db?! May mga chances na ni-leave kong blank ang mga questions. Sobrang na-mental block ako!!! Kaya yun, nagsulat ako ng words na "Last Chance" at "Mental Block!!!" sa likod nung bluebook ko. Sobrang nakaka-mental block talaga!

SO, ayun na ang mga nangyari sa aking mga exams. Pagtapos ng mga yun, punta sa Rob at tumambay at nagkwentuhan sa Kenny Rogers. Nagpalamig lang ako ng ulo nun. So, ayun, pag-uwi sa bahay, sobrang nanghihina na ako. At, nagtuloy na ang sakit. Feeling ko, sininat ako nun. So, ito ako ngayon, nag-tytpe kahit marami pang kailangan gawin at may finals pa ako sa pe bukas. Hehe. Kamusta naman yun?!

..Pero, not to worry, matatapos na rin naman ang lahat..

Bye First Sem AY 2006-2007, Hello Second Sem AY 2006-2007...

Bye sa pagiging New Freshman at Hello sa pagiging Old Freshman!..

Hay... the suffering continues..

Nawawala

2006-10-02T22:51:00.000+08:00

Gabi. So, inaantok na naman ako. Bat ba ako ganito? Gusto kong matulog.

Anyway, nang mag-online si April sa YM, nakita niya si Ate Angelin tapos nag-pm siya sa kanya. Na-virus daw ako kaya hindi na nakakapagpost dito.

...Teka, virus?

Don't worry, reader. Yes, you. Ako lang ang apektado. Out ka dito unless parehas tayo ng situation. Heheh. Anyway, nadali na raw ako ng virus ng ka-GC-han. Nahuhunghang na ako sa lintek na schedule at sa mga parang kalokohan-sapagkat-napakabigat na requirements. OO, parang gago na ito kasi freshmen ako pero OO, mabigat ang load. Akala ko kalokohan ang lahat hanggang sa binatukan ako ng aking sarili sabay sabi, "Ikaw kaya ang may gusto nito". "Aye, oo nga pala.."

Nakakaloko na talaga ang buhay. Napakadaming nangyayaring kababalaghan at mga bagay na kala mo hindi mangyayari. Por example, nitong darating na friday, 3 straight subjects ay mayroong mga pamatay na exam. Juice ko naman. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero posible palang mangyari ang isang karumal-dumal na pangyayaring kagaya nun. Parang sobra na yun ah. O, ako lang ba nag-iisip nun? Isa pa, nanalo ang UST kanina. Biruin mo yun.

...Teka, ulit, joke lang yun. Pero, honestly, nasaktan ako kasi for Ateneo talaga ako eh. Peace.

So, ayun, nawiwindang na ako. Bat ba ang feeling ko hindi ako handa? Handa na ba talaga ako o nagpapanggap lang? Well, sabihin na nating hindi masyado at kung nagpapanggap lang ako, kailangang panindigan na lang. Seryoso, naloloko na ako. Ayoko ng ganitong feeling.

Kung babalik sa usapan kay Ate Angelin, sabi ko nalulunod na ako. Nalulunod sa skul, that is. Ayun nga, sa dinami ba naman ng pinagdadakdak ko dito, na-realize mo ba na nahihirapan ako? Sana naman. Dagdag ko pa sa pagsasabing nalulunod ako sa skulworks, sabi ko kailangan ko ng superhero. Pasalamatan na ang may awa kasi meron namang nagsasalba sa aking katauhan. Ayun. Salamat talaga kay Bill Gates at sa Internet. Salamat sa alaala ni Gemma Ward kasi kahit hindi ko na siya napapanood sa FTv, nasisisyahan na ako pag naiisip ko siya. Salamat dun sa nagbibigay ng aliw sa skul(Wooo!). Salamat sa blockmates na walang sawang naghahasik ng.. kasiyahan at kaguluhan. Salamat sa gumawa ng Tootsie Roll kasi ancharap nun(Pasingit lang!). Salamat sa genius behind Bread Pan. Quoting Budong in Super Inggo, "Thank You for you suffort".

Nakakaloko ung post. Parang hindi ako. Naantok na ako.

(Pasingit: ...Sori kung d nakakapagpost, sori talaga.)

All Over Again

2006-08-27T01:30:00.000+08:00

I get the feeling that I am going back to the start in terms of everything.

I swear, I think I am going back to being the ultra-GC April. You know, as in total geek. Well, partial lang pala kasi minus the look. Anyway, my point is, the big "College" thing is finally catching up on me. The whole idea of a whole new learning environment has now shown its idea upon me. You know, being independent and all is what college teaches you. When I was still in high school, they always say that college will be different because you will be alone by that time. Being April, I am not totally concerned with being alone, like having no BFF's, barkada or something, I am more concerned with being ALONE. I get to do things on my own, decide on my own and for my own's sake and be responsible for my own actions. Yes, I am concerned with those things since I have been so dependent on things that were still in high school. You know, the books, the parents, the teachers, the barkada.. I have been dependent.

Now, here I am, wondering why my answer is wrong on number 1 in my Math Manual while checking out medical institutions for our History project. Last time, I was in the library, reading tons of history books for our History project and I was also in the National Museum looking for plants being used by the Ikalahan tribe. If I were the high school version of April, I would not be caught staying in the library(darn librarians!)! I wouldn't even know that a certain Ikalahan tribe exists! Yes, I was GC in high school but not to the extent that I would go out on my way to get some extraordinary info from some extraordinary source. I study what my teachers taught us and that was it. I'd study every inch of it because I need to and because I want to. By going back to the old April, I'd like to regain the attitude towards studying. I want to pass this subject, not just because I need to and it's a pre-req of a gazillion other major subjects, but also because it is my decision. Because I want to. For some time kasi, para bang na-overwhelm ako sa kolehiyo, para akong nakawala sa hawla kaya nakalimot ako na dapat pala mas dibdibin ko ang pag-aaral or maging mas focused sa pag-aaral.

I think this is what you call, adjustment. But, it's weird because in my case, it seems that it's the opposite. Instead of changing from the new to the old, I am bringing back the old. Maybe I'm just recycling things as a sort of answer to today's demands. It's like Garbage In, Garbage Out. Taking in the good attitude from the past and deleting the bad attitude from what I've become.

I want to do this. No more slacking off, no more excuses. I should be responsible.

I'm Out

2006-08-24T22:31:00.000+08:00

Puhtek. Everything's just happening so fast. Everyone's moving so fast I think I got stuck along the way. I really feel lost.

I am fleeting. After today's events, feeling ko napakawalang kwenta kong tao! I super flunked the shitty math test. Oh crap.. how in the world can I ever survive such catastrophe..! Now, the idea of the crappy test score and test swims in my mind. I think it will stay there for weeks. Haha. I'm just the type of kid who can never let go of anything so major, like the subject. Well, I'm still hoping to shake off all the negative energy and outlook so that I can move on.

Kamote. Kanina, we had our second departmental exam in Ethnobotany(Nat Sci). The test was ok. But, it felt like a hassle since well, it was given after our shitty 1st period. Well, the aftermath of the first period took its toll on the second period which is Nat Sci. So, ayun, habang nag-tetest sa NatSci, naiisip ko pa rin ang Math. Pero, naisip ko, kailangan mas galingan ko dito para man lang makabawi dun sa pagbulusok ko sa Math. Grabe talaga. Pero, I have to admit that even though the test was ok there were still questions that were unclear to me. So, good luck naman!

Tomorrow, we will have another test! Whoopdeedoo! Of course, I am being sarcastic. Anyway, at least, the subject that we will have a test on tomorrow is interesting... for me. Hehe. I've always loved Biology ever since 2nd year high school. So, good luck na lang sa akin! Kaya ko ito! (kahit na super aminado ako na mahirap magkabisado ng cycles na may mga iba't ibang compounds)

Ahehe. Aun muna para sa ngayon. Mejo busy talaga these days eh.

55

2006-08-07T21:18:00.000+08:00

Napaka-miserable ng kaibigan kong si Devine kanina. Ito ang nagawa ko para sa kanya.

55
Nakakasuka ka. Kasuklam-suklam ka.
Ang mga polynomials mo, hindi ko na nais pang makita.
Ako'y naduduwal. Nais kong lumayo.
Sa pagiging isang isa't kalahating oras na bilanggo.

Hindi ko maisip. Paano napunta rito?
Bakit naging mapangahas? Hindi sumunod sa payo.
Gusto kong tumakbo. Gusto kong tumakas.
Kahit man lamang limang minuto makalabas...

Makalabas sa aking hawla..
Sa room 223 ng Gusaling Rizal..
Lumabas sa gawa-gawang bilangguan..
Kung saan naglalaho ang kasiyahan.

Ngunit kung kanyang landas ay nararapat na daanan..
Ito'y tatahakin kahit na gumagapang..
Kung sumuway naman at hindi magparamdam..
Tiyak na 'irregular' ang siyang katapusan.

Kaya ngayon, magbubuklat na ako.
Ng aking higanteng luntiang kwaderno.
Nang hindi ako makakuha ng kwatro o singko..
Sa math17, magpapaalipin na ako.

Dahil nais ko pang makakita ng LIMITS..
Dahil nais ko pang mag-CALCULUS..
Dahil nais ko pang mag-CHEM14..
Dahil nais ko pang gumradweyt on time..

O, math17, bakit andami mong pre-requisite?! O, bakit?!

Hiling ko lamang sa iyo..
Makinig ka sana sa aking pagsusumamo..
Kahit sa pagkakataong lamang ito..
Mabigyan ako ng gradong pasado..
Mabigyan ako kahit na singkwenta'y singko..

Dugo Ilong. Gulong turnilyo. Kain ice cream. Lamig ulo. Akyat ng building. Third floor. Onting Second thoughts. Sabay... Sabay... Sabay...

.Lipad.

Halu-Halo Special

2006-08-03T00:41:00.000+08:00

Awww. Shux. Nakakapanghinayang ang pag-ibig. Kung kailan naamin mo na sa sarili mo na ok na, na siya na talaga, saka siya mawawala..

~nagdadrama lang!~

Anyway, I am so pumped up about this field trip we are going to have by the end of the month. It will be for three days. I am excited and well, a bit worried. I am still not totally sure whether I'll go or not because there are some problems*financial*.. Sucky, isn't it?!

Wala lang. Napaisip lang ako. Napakasaya sigurong trip nun if ever buo ang block 23. Hay..

~naging masaya for a bit~

Dugo ilong. Feeling crappy. Talon sa building. Woooo.. LAB!

Ampf-ness! Sobrang daming kailangan asikasuhin. Well, eto na ang hinahanap ko. Pero, geez naman, nasobrahan ata! We have a long assignment in Comm I(well, nagpile up na kasi..) due tomorrow. Pero, buti na lang may PE bukas! On Friday, we will have a quiz on Bio Lecture. Pating! Sobrang dami nun! Everything about Plant Reproductive Parts.. Well, kaya un! Aja! We also have the uber to the nth level looooong Exercise 5 in Bio Lab on Friday. Buti na lang may history pagtapos ng mga bio subjects namin!

Pating talaga! (Pating(shark) is my expression for the week..) Grrr.. Kaya yan! Aja!

~gumulo ulit~

Pagtapos ng week na ito, magsisimula na ang Exam Week! Yey? Blech! Asa. Good luck na lang.Hanggang anong level kaya mamemeasure ang toxicity ko next week? Hehe. Good luck na lang.

Good luck sa akin!

~feeling optimistic~

April?

2006-07-27T01:06:00.000+08:00

Love+Clueless(Me) = Loveless(?!)

From today's events, I think I can fully say that I already forgot the feeling of being in love.

Err, of all people, ako ba talaga ito?! Hehe. Well, yeah. Basing on what I did kanina, you can say that when it comes to love, I am clueless. Grabe. While the girls are pouring their hearts out, talking about love and all, I was just sitting there, naka-indian seat, listening and eating popcorn. It's like I'm just watching them do what they got to do. Tapos ang replies ko pa whenever there was something a girl said about the "topic" ay "oo, sabi mo eh.". Para bang wala talaga akong kaalam-alam. Tapos, kaninang nanonood kami ng Mila sa Auditorium, when the characters were talking about their lovelives and how its important to them blahblah, I said, I think everyone heard me, "Sa panahon ngayon, hindi na nag-eexist ang tunay na pag-ibig!"(Naggagamitan lang tayo!).

Napakacynical!
Sa totoo lang, when I evaluated everything that I've said today, the thought literally scared my pants off! Hehe, it's like this is not the real me. Napaka-out of character nito para kay April. Well, kasi, when I'm my typical self, I'm really in love with LOVE. Mausisa ako pagdating sa ganitong topic. At, usually, may "say" ako sa mga ganitong bagay. Pero, bat ngayon? Huwaw. I'm at a loss of anything to say. Para naman akong nasaid na. What does this mean? Wala na ba talaga o sadyang napagod lang ako?

Hay... This should be the least of my concerns now. Pero, it's really weirding me out! Weird talaga!

Tulungan niyo naman akong matandaan yung feeling na yun. Help me remember how it felt.

*Kahit i-describe nyo lang, ok na! ehe..*

Appreciation

2006-07-20T23:59:00.000+08:00

For someone...

Dido - Thank You

My tea's gone cold,
I'm wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and
I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad

I drank too much last night,
got bills to pay,
my head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today,
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply
that I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's not so bad,
it's not so bad

and I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life

Push the door, I'm home at last
and I'm soaking through and through
Then you hand me a towel
and all I see is you
And even if my house falls down,
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me

and I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life

You'll never know who will light up your day! It may be your closest friend(BFF) or someone you would never ever thnk is close to you personally. Weird man ung last pero mayroon talagang mga ganoong bagay na nangyayari. For that person who made me smile and who made my day, I'd have to say thank you!

See you tomorrow!

My Subconscious Speaks

2006-07-17T22:30:00.000+08:00

*BEEP*
*Subconscious mind left a message*

And I thought I was OK with everything that happened in the past. All the time, I was friggin wrong. I wish I were though.

The smiles staged in those photographs are the ones that make me shrivel. I shrink to the smallest of all minute pieces. I feel so hollow and guilty. O ayan. Naaasar ako. Naiinggit ako. Naiirita ako. Naiimbyerna ako. Naaburido ako. I feel like I was deprived of something so special and so delicate. I really feel like I was left with nothing even if I was the one who gave up most of the love part.

Ganoon ba talaga kapag ikaw ang nag-give way? Arrgh, stupid April! At first, I thought it was all ok. She was a very close friend. He was cool and nice. It was ok. It is ok. That's what I thought. Now, I am really feeling envy and regret. Naku, what could this mean?! Grrr. I super don't like what I am right now. I mean, it is very unlikely for April to be so inconsiderate of her friends! Anu ba naman ako! Kailangang tanggapin ko na ito..

Gaah.. Help me remember to FORGET!

*End of message*

No Regrets

2006-07-12T01:33:00.000+08:00

Arggh. I have just realized that I have tons of stuff to do. And, I find myself doing other things other than those of my assignments. I really suck at managing things! I sure hope I could fix the problem as soon as possible. Help, anyone?

For the past few weeks, information overload has been my enemy. Grabe. I have learned so many things in such a short span of time. That's when toxicity enters. Now, I don't know what to do first and what to do next. Nakakawindang sya ha but I still think that somehow, someway, my brain can still cope with the demands and the times. If ever my brain suddenly stops functioning, kill me because what's the sense of my existence when I can't even understand a thing. Understanding a certain process or concept is really the key to MY acadamic progress so what's the sense of going to school when you can't relate to what the teacher explains to you. So, do you still think that my resolve is shallow? Maybe but really, you can't say that unless you experience what I am facing right now.

But, after all that has been said, I am proud to say that I have no regrets(as of the time I am writing this!). I chose the path I am running/walking/striding/crawling right now. That is one consolation, I get to choose! I really feel sorry for all the people who said that they regret entering the university they are in now. Para bang, hindi sila handa at hindi nila pinag-isipan yung college. College is such a critical part of one's life and then, you let someone else make the decision for you. It's like pinamimigay mo na yung responsibility mo sa buhay mo sa iba. It's like giving the wheel to a stranger. Yes, it's hard kasi nandyan ka na. What I am trying to point is, panindigan mo na kung anumang meron ka ngayon.

Sana lang hindi ako masyadong serious. Hehe. Sige...

Serious Mental Torture 2

2006-07-08T10:06:00.000+08:00

*Tagalog na may kapiranggot na Ingles*

Come on. Now, I am really, really confused! Nakakaloko ka ah..!

Tsk. Sana, alam mo, friends na lang talaga tayo para wala nang mangyaring hindi inaasahan. Harhar. Nakakaasar ka. Charming ka kasi. Bwiset.. ^_^.

Napakabait mo talaga. Bibigyan na kita ng isang higanteng award para sa iyong kabaitan! Grr. Grr. Grr. Nakakaasar ka talaga! Ang bait-bait mo..! Hindi ka tao, pramis.. Hindi ka totoong tao.. Grr. ^_^.

May narinig ako kagabi. Napakasaklap. Arggg.. Pero ayos lang. Wait, ayos nga lang ba? Matapos kong namnamin ang narinig ko.. Paulit-ulit itong um-echo sa aking isipan. Tae. Nasasaktan na ako. Aba, masama kayo. Talagang masama kayo. Buti na lang may shock absorber ako. Kaya yun.. naging ayos na ako. Wait ulit, ayos na ba talaga ako?

Hindi talaga. -_-

****

Brighter Side of Life
Wuiii. Freshmen Night kagabi sa college namin. Aba'y akalain mong napakasaya ng mga tao dun kahit na napaka-toxic ng lugar. Hah! Masaya naman pala dito eh.. Masaya pala..

Shet. tumugtog kami ng mga kanta dun eh bilang presentasyon. Aye naku, salamat sa Block 23! Mahal ko na kayo! Wooot! Dun naman sa isang sumigaw: mamatay ka na sa gutom! Nyahahahaha.. tae. Anu ba naman toh. Buti na lang nandun si Gayle! Grrrr... *rawr*.

Basta salamat sa suporta, Block 23! Astig kayo! At, salamat na rin sa nag-organize nung event(as if, mababasa to ng mga un), astig din kayo, mga kuya at ate!

Mabuhay ang College of Pharmacy!
Woohooo!

Serious Mental Torture

2006-07-04T22:05:00.000+08:00

I choke on your words.

As of now, I am undergoing serious mental torture caused by my newfound friend, Gayle. I really like that girl. But, she said something that made me want to burn myself to death. Hehe. Exaggerating? Yes but the effect's still the same.

I laugh at your nobility.

I thought I already heard giggles. I ignored them. But, it bugs me how everything I dreamt of turned into pieces. How fast time flies. And, how easy deception poisons the mind. Come on, if you were put on a position wherein the one you like becomes the one you totally abhor because of a very likely incident, how would you react?

I puke on your kindness.

The perfect gentleman description fits you to a tee. I hate you for that. Why can't you be mean at one point in your life?

...

Brigher Side of Life
I know, I know, this may seem extremely late but I just wanted to tell you that I felt super-duper happy when Red Bull won the semis last Sunday! The last 3 seconds were amazing! Grabe. It's like one of the things I'd love to capture and keep inside my heart. OA? No! Of course not! Sobrang love ko lang sila. Hehe. Oh what joy would winning the Finals for the second time in a row bring! Haha.. I can't wait to watch the start of the Finals.

...

A Day with the Kids

2006-06-30T00:22:00.000+08:00

After busy Wednesday, here comes Fun Thursday!

The day started with something that my blockmates would describe as utterly boring! Zzzzz... But, that was just the first! After that hell first class, we went to Nat Sci. Again, nat sci lagi talagang may ginagawa. But today was different, we did a situational activity concerning how we study ethnobotany. Aba naman. Who would have thought that it will turn out to be a fun discussion! We laughed at the representatives who deliberately made fun of themselves. But, overall, the activity was ok. After that, Comm I naman! We just did the activity left by the teacher then we were free to go!

Lunch! I went with the girls today. And, they were really good companions. We spent the majority of the break for eating. Then, we just joked around. We talked and laughed about Wednesday's 'main' event(the Acquiantance Party). Ang sapatos ni Siyon. Jenjenjen.. Grabe! Who would have thought! Mejo x-rated na tong part na ito kaya quiet muna! Hehehehe..!

After loads of laughter and cones of ice cream, we went to CP since our next class, PE, will be held at the building near it. And also, para na rin makita si Bosing Joy at tumambay! So, ayun, ayos! Punta na kami dun!

PE(jenjenjen...)

Haha. Malufet kanina! We had our very first PE class wherein we can actually play! Yey! Suddenly, the 20 plus students of IP turned into savage, fun-loving kids! Grabe! You wouldn't believe the chaos while playing the game called Aswang-aswangan! Ang masasabi ko lang talaga, mahirap maging buro! Nakakaasar! Pero masaya! More of bonding kasi ang nangyari instead of a class eh!

Ayun, we played a total of 5 games in the 2-hour period. Grabe. Katuwa ung mga games! I really feel abused during the third game! People kept on tugging on my shirt or just plain pushing me so that the 'it' will tag me! They are very rude but I still like them! Feeling ko, sa Pepsi-7-Up pinakanasiyahan ang mga tao! Wala lang! Lahat kasi gumagalaw at naglalaro eh! Ako nga, todo pose pag sinabing 7 Up para naman may style! hehe..

So, ayun... That was our last period so uwian na! We stayed at CP to wait for our other blockmates who were in Pharm100 that afternoon. Bonding, bonding. When our other blockmates were dismissed, we decided to go home. Ayun.

Doon nagtatapos ang day with the kids. Kala ko panay seryoso ang mga tao sa amin, hindi pala! Mga maliligalig pala ung mga batang yun...

Generalization: Hindi talaga totoo ang mga first impressions!

Tag Echuzes

2006-06-28T23:55:00.000+08:00

I was tagged!

Instructions:Name ten(10) of life's simple pleasures that you like the most, then pick ten(10) people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not to use things that someone else has already used.

1. Obviously, eating!
2. Sleeping (if i do have time..)
3. Screaming! (a way to relieve yourself of all troubles, burdens etc)
4. Music, singing(pag walang magawa, piliting paganahin ang vocal cords!)
5. Panonood ng TV (pang-relax)
6. Makakita ng taong kinagigiliwan (kasi nandun ung feel-good feeling eh, pag nakita mo na ung taong un!)
7. Laughing at Pakikipagdaldalan (hindi ko alam gagawin ko pag wala to..)
8. Friends (aba'y shock absorber ang mga friends ntin)
9. *bilang estudyante* School at classes!!! (wooh. The site of school brings me a feeling of 'worth', value..)
10. *bilang estudyante pa rin* Breaks, Rests ! (hehe!)

Mabait ako kaya hindi na ko mangta-tag! ^__^

Samu't Saring Ewan

2006-06-27T20:43:00.000+08:00

Chunks of memories fall upon me. A past revisited? Wag naman. Dapat hindi na ako ma-MI(Muling Ibalik). Dapat lang(na hindi)!

...

For some reason unknown to me, I really, really, really feel pissed off. Nakakainis at nakakairita pero walang dahilan. Crappiness is what I feel. I feel like I'm somebody else since well, if I'm really me, I would be infuriated at something for a REASON. But, right now, I can't think of a single reason.

Or, maybe, I'm just 'in denial' about something. >_<

...

One day, napatunganga ako. Nakatitig sa harap ng monitor ng computer. Ninanamnam ang lyrics ng isang kanta, at ng isa pang kanta, at ng isa pang kanta. Hindi ko alam pero naaantig ako sa kanilang tema ng pag-ibig. Tsk. Hindi ako ganito. Hndi talaga ako ganito. Ang akala ko kasi nagbago na ako. Well, hindi pa pala.

Natawa ako kasi may nakita ako sa Friendster. Tungkol na naman sa isang tao na nagmamahal sa isa pang tao. Tapos, pag kalabas ko naman, nakita ko yung isang taong super in love dito sa tukmol na ito. Tapos, ang dami kong nakilala. Lahat sila in love o in like o merong kinagigiliwan na bagay. Napatanong tuloy ako. Bat ako wala?

Woosh. Ang pangit naman kung idahilan kong wala akong pakiramdam kasi ang alam ko mayroon naman kahit papano. Geez. Ewan kasi wala pa akong nararamdamang pagkagiliw kaninuman. Yun siguro ang dahilan. Pero, parang ang sarap ng feeling na may kinagigiliwang tao!

..Hindi ba?

...

Quote: "Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life for better or for worse."

Surprise!

2006-06-21T21:53:00.000+08:00

After going to my 1-hour class and sleeping, sooobrang bad trip!

Anyway, some of you might not even "relate" with any of these... Newsflash!

...Crapola!

After hours of watching, of waking up early, the Dallas Mavericks freakin' lost. Well, that was stupid. I went out of the house for my NSTP class(which lasted only for one hour since same2 orientation palang naman) at the end of the first quarter of Game 6. At that time, Dallas was leading. So, un, I expected that they will win Game 6 para 3-3 na ang score. Anyway, I was happy when I got out of the house. I am rooting for them. After the class, my blockmate and new friend, Jann and I talked about the Finals and how I super expect Dallas to win. Hehe. I was that excited and happy! When I got home, I slumped into my bed and slept. After waking up, I hear something from the TV, something about the finals. Mejo na-excite ako sa news. I was anticipating a clincher Game 7. And then, I heard it. The Heats won. Well, so much for my anticipation. So much for my Game 7. Well, that was stupid. Anyway, through the whole series, Dallas was given the chance to get the Cup. Siguro, hindi pa nila time ngayon. Ibigay na lang sa 'aging bardagul' na si Shaq ang championship.

..Pero, grabe, nanghihinayang at natutuwa ako kay Harris. Biruin, first time pa lang niya tapos pasok na agad sa Finals. (i'm not sure if totoo to! got this one from my Papi)

One more thing to ruin my day. (well, not actually ruin). Talo ang Red Bull sa Semis kanina. But that's ok. 1-1 palang naman. It's just the second game of the Semis. They won in the first naman eh. Tsk. Well, I am still rooting for them! Go Red BULL! Ang Bumangga, GIBA!

**Interesting how things happen in just one snap of a finger. Ang nakakatuwa at mahirap pa, you were not there to witness it all. Interesting din how things you're expecting to happen, do not actually happen. It's the irony of it all that makes it funny and crappy at the same time.

Meeting the Sage

2006-06-19T17:47:00.000+08:00

Doubt has come to mind. "The trouble will pass", the girl whispered. I hope so.

There are some things in life I cannot explain. Questions flood me but I do not have a single clue. Sometimes I wonder how I ended up in this place, in this position. Is it my fate or my own doing? How did I get myself tangled and burdened?

...I see a light. A call from heaven?

I met "the sage" in a very poorly furnished building. He talks about a lot of things. He knows a bunch of things you wouldn't even care to know. He is brilliant and... experienced. Hehe. He talked about the academics. He told us stories of sheer terror, stories that haunt the recesses of my memories. I shiver. He told some more. But, he also narrated stories of bright sunbeams and hope. For that, I felt relieved and determined!

Time is a killer. We have to move on. So, we left the sage on his post and went on our way to where knowledge spills and students grasp it.

As I was walking down the enlightened path, I vowed to be aware and prepared for the coming years of battle. I will be.

But, at the moment I have one thing to say...
Thank you for the enlightenment! Thank you, manong guard!
Thanks beri much!

April's Sched

2006-06-17T23:51:00.000+08:00

Crapola!

...Burnout.

You may be thinking, "April is so weak! First week pa lang eh!". I only have one thing to say. We are SO not in the same situation. You can have my schedule for all I care. But, I tell you it's a killer. Take it at your own risk. Haha.

Even if I have only 4 subjects per day(except Wednesday), it's still very tiring. I mean, I do get a hefty break but that's all. It doesn't do much really. I am not getting relaxed or refreshed by any of this. Sometimes, because of the break, we lose track of time. Pwede kaming ma-late, in short. That's crappy, isn't it? Anyway, the problem is not major. At this time, I think it isn't. Haha.

Here are my subjects:
Math 17(Algebra and Trigonometry)
Nat Sci 8(Ethnobotany)
Comm I
Bio 20(Botany) (Lecture and Lab)
History I(Phil. History)
PE 2(Phil. Games)
Pharm100(Perspectives in Pharmacy)
NSTP(weee!)

Wah. I will post more information on these subjects as soon as I get more info! Haha. Well, our block hasn't met all of our teachers yet so that's basically it. As in, iyon lng talaga.

Guess, it is time to go. I'll see you when I get back! Hehe!

...That is if I have time to go back(janjanjan!)

^__^

The Real Deal

2006-06-15T23:44:00.000+08:00

'Welcome Freshmen(ulet!)'

You want the real deal?

Let me give it to you.

Today was the first day of classes. Classes na ah! Now, do your part and read...

I woke up at 6:30 am. Am I that excited? Not really, I just don't want to be late on the first day of classes. I don't want to make THAT impression. But, to be honest, I am excited.

I am a super procrastinator! Even though I woke up at 6:30 am, I only started doing my morning routine after setting up my computer, placing the Eraserheads CD and listening to it. After all of those things, I started to 'move'. Erm, I mean to actually prepare for school. I ate breakfast but since there's already someone in the bathroom, I decided to just sit there and listen to the music(with matching pa-prenteng upo). Grabe parang high school! Anyway, I got out of the bathroom at what, 7:40(?!). Wow. I am so going to be late(excuse the manner of expression)!

After a 'battle' with my parents concerning my poor sense of punctuality and my super duper low chance of getting on a jeepney(according to them), I went out the house at 8 am. The night before, I said to myself that I must be at the school at about 8 am since I will get my ID and meet up with blockmates. Now, see how stubborn April is! Arriving at 8 turned out to be leaving at 8. Geez! Para talagang high school! Anyway, I got on the first jeepney I saw(to my parent's dismay). And the ride to the school started...

...wait, stupid traffic!
(at this moment, I was already praying to all the saints for me not to be late)

I arrived at the AS building at 8:30! Kamusta naman yun?! 8:30 was the start of my class! Going to the place is not a problem since I've already checked out the room of my first class. So, as I was hurrying on my way, I saw something brown. I saw Jaysonnel(my bio friend). He asked me if I have Math17 for my first class. I said yes. He said that we have no class since the professor is absent. Ohh, ok. I still went to the class, secretly wishing it is true!

As I went in, I only knew a single face, that is of Manet's. Anyway, I chatted with her and I suggested we sit at the second row(Survival Tip!). Then, my new-found friends from the first day of college showed up(Ian, Simel, Johanna, Ernie!)! All the time I chatted with Manet, they were waiting for me at the OUR. Anyway, we stayed at the room, wished for the aircon to function(well, thankfully it did!) and chatted the whole period away. The class ended with no Prof in sight! Hehe, thanks to God, all the saints I've prayed to and Jaysonnel!

The next class, there was a prof. She was ok. This subject is really interesting! The next class, there was no prof! But, there was... HOMEWORK! What...! Pffft. My next class after that was at 3 pm. Well, at the time, it was only 12 noon. Shux. Killer ang schedule! My friends and I just went to Robinson's and ate lunch. AFter that, bonding naman! We went to bookstores, toy stores, kiosks and restaurants(not to eat! weird huh?!). It was not too long before we decided to get our IDs in the OUR. After getting the quintessential ID, we went on our way to our college since the SSWC bldg is near it. After getting there(just in time for the PE class), we were told by the guard in the building to sign the attendance sheet. After that, he said we could go. Wow. Ang ganda ng klase! Malufet!

It was way too early so we just decided to bond with our other IPmates. I met a lot of new and interesting people. We just talked about different kinds of things from anime to games and from 'Malas' to joining the Orgs. Hmm.. Wala lang. Masaya ito. Mababait sila. Ok silang lahat.

My day ended with the usual trip to 7-11, me accompanying my blockmate to buy rice and me inside a San Andres Bukid jeepney.

I really hope that tomorrow will be just as fun as today. I really hope so. And, I swear, I am going to be friends with EVERYBODY! =D

'Welcome Tambay ng Bayan!(whoops, nagbago?)'

=D

First Day of Everything

2006-06-13T23:38:00.000+08:00

'Welcome Freshmen!'

Hello! Well, today was the official first day of college! Take note, not classes ah!

Hmpf! You don't need lips to introduce yourself to other people. You just need your ears to be in perfect condition(matinding orientation ito!). Now, with all ears ready, sit back and enjoy...

...enjoy?

...ha?

My friend, Jaysonnel and I made an agreement that we will meet at the OUR at 7 am. Well, I'm late! Nothing new about that! I was really worried at that time since I didn't even see Jay or any of my blockmates in IP. Scary talaga. Anyway, I know the place where the Orientation will be held so I decided to go there by myself. I saw a lot of 'sariwang tao' or freshmen as I was walking towards UN Avenue. At last, I came to the place without help from anybody. But, then, I encountered a problem. I don't know where to go next.

As I was hopelessly searching for my blockmates, I saw a lot of my former schoolmates. Whatever. Anyway, I finally found someone from my block! I saw the smiling guy from the tour. He let me cut in the line(he was really nice!) and he even introduced me to our other blockmates. They were really nice boys. We went inside the auditorium but then there were no more seats available for the students of our course. So, we stood there and waited. We spotted a bunch of seats and I said to them, 'Mang-agaw na lang tayo ng upuan!'. Hah! They followed me to the seats. While comfortably seated, I chatted with the girl next to me. I asked her what her course is. She said Physical Therapy. Ohh, ok. But then, there came the pink lady and she asked what our course is. We answered her, of course. After learning we're from IP, she made us stand up the hallway because we can't sit there since the seats are for CAMP students. Geez. Back to standing. Luckily, there was this one seat vacant and since I'm the only girl in the group, they let me sit. Harhar...

The ceremony started. There was a mass. The priest's sermon was good. Well, it was cool. And, then a bunch of speakers just talked about this and that, blah blah blah. But, they were really nice. I enjoy most of the talks. I really enjoyed the speech of the chancellor of UP Manila. It was really entertaining and funny(if you are from UP Manila! and not from... ooops! secret!). After that enlightening speech, paangasan na! Haha. The freshmen were introduced by their respective college secretaries. Each introduction comes with a 'paangas' which serves as a sort-of challenge to the freshmen. Comedy ito!

The welcome ceremony ended at 1 pm. It was really a fun program. It was full of goofs, challenges and 'paangas'. Haha. It was a variety show(complete with singing, dancing at kung anu pang echuzes!)! After the ceremony, one of the speakers announced that college orientations will be held in their respective colleges. Our college announced that our orientation will be at 2 pm. After that announcement, we went outside and looked for IPmates. Well, they were gone! I was left with Ian and Johanna(IPmates). We decided to wait and search for our blockmates. But, to our surprise, we just met something fat. We met Sachee/China. She went with us to Rob to erm, eat. After eating, we went back to our respective colleges(Chynes' college is CN, we are from CP). Just in time for the orientation.

I met up with a more familar face, Simel. Then, we just let the orientation take its course. Ang mga people sa CP ay mukhang mababait. Well, siguro nga ganun talaga sila. Anyway, they were really nice. The faculty's cool. They joke around with their students. The presentations were really fun to watch. The ice-breakers were ok. Grabe. The people there are really so cool. Para sa akin a! Basta... they look really nice and they seem really enthusiastic. I wish I become friends with aaallllll of them! Haha..

I was really inspired by the people to strive harder and be tougher. I really wanted to pursue this course. I wanted to succeed in it. I really want to... I really want to...

Anyway, let's just hope for everything to go alright in the coming 5 years(hopefully, 5 lang.. Hehe.)...

'Welcome, Iskolar ng Bayan!'

^___^

Ramblings

2006-06-10T15:36:00.000+08:00

It was almost 4 pm. The girl doesn't have a thing to do. Suddenly, thoughts flood her mind. She spoke to herself...

...

I heart Red Bull Barako! I hope they win the quarterfinals! But, Mark Caguioa is good too! Ahh, basta. Red Bull pa rin!

Boom! Another one!

Have I turned into this mushy romantic fool? For the past few days, I have immersed myself to different types of "Romantic Movies". And, I find myself really touched by the stories. Crapola! Is this the beggining of excessive mushiness on my part?! Oh, no...

She shuddered at the last thought. But, there was another one!

Amph. I am tense and pressured. Maybe, it's because of the impending havoc that the next school year might bring upon poor little me. Crap. Kaya mo yan, April!

She felt a bit optimistic. Another one...

What would be my 'first day high'? Brainy? Rebel? or Nice Guy?(asa)

She felt good after that. Another one...

Wait, wala na pala..

*Hurries on to the TV to watch Let's Go!*

PS. Gusto ko ng bangs. :D

Ang Kwaderno

2006-06-08T18:13:00.000+08:00

I was Notebook-ed!

Wah. I have recently watched "The Notebook" on HBO. It was my first time to see the movie. Call me a sucker but the film actually made me cry. Bleh... I am not like this.

But, if you consider the circumstances, the film can be really "tear-inducing". Wala lang. The situation of the old Noah is just so depressing. Imagine that to happen to you! What would you do? Wouldn't you have those heart attacks?!

The amazing thing about the movie is that the old Noah just keeps on telling the old Allie the story of their lives even if she won't even remember it. She may remember it but just for what, a couple of minutes(as shown in the film). It's just so good to see that the old man is really exerting effort to make the old woman remember. Oh, the things people do for love...

Hmmm. Last words.
Sana hindi ako magkaroon ng degenerative disease pag 'tanda ko.

Memories are the last things I want to lose...

Fix You

2006-06-07T00:26:00.000+08:00

Fix You
Coldplay
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream, down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I..

Tears stream, down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I..

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

**********************
It took me ages to realize this song's worth.

This song makes me wonder of the things I do in my life. Does my work go unnoticed? Or simply unappreciated?

I know that I am a person that wouldn't settle for less. But, why do I always feel like second best? Is it really that bad? I do try to be number one. I try. And sometimes, I find myself thinking, is that all there is to it?

"But if you never try you'll never know Just what you're worth"

I try but problems just keep lagging me down. When trying doesn't work its magic, what's left of us? What's left of me? I find myself completely hopeless and confused in deciding whether to try again or leave the matter in the trash.

"But if you never try you'll never know Just what you're worth"

Maybe, I need a moment to fix myself, to get another view of things or to be fixed. Maybe, I just need to try a bit more or find something that will drive me to try twice harder. Maybe, I need hope...

I have tasted disappointment and regret. I dare not experience the hurt anymore.

"Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you."

Finally

2006-06-05T17:45:00.000+08:00

Finally, the blog problem is over.

Uhhm, I gave my blog some new clothes. Tell me your reactions. How does she look? Hehe. I hope you guys like it. To everyone who had problems viewing this blog, please reset your screen resolution to 1024x768 pixels. That is if you want to view this blog correctly. Thanks a bunch.

The lyrics are from Fall Out Boy. Please do check out the band. They are awesome! Clickie the link in the credits. Thanks a bunch again.

Thanks for visiting.

*********
PS. If ever you're reading this Bianca, I super-duper miss you! <3

Apology

2006-06-04T16:57:00.000+08:00

Come on. Let's be honest. We hurt each other as if it was part of a daily routine. And after a time, we realize our mistakes and say our sorry's.

I wish we are like we once were. I feel this strange gap between us. I feel an undeniable silence. I feel something bad is going to happen. This is not good. This definitely isn't. I wish I could change that. I'd like to go back, to us being friends again.

Yes, I swear I had my share of mistakes. I am responsible for most of our squabbles. I'm guilty of that. So, what am I to say to you now that the situation has changed? You did not forgive me this time around. Would a mere sorry do anything?

If it does not have an effect, I will still say it. Sorry. Wish we could be friends again.

Magic

2006-05-22T23:56:00.000+08:00

Have you watched Mastermind last Sunday? The one with Erik Mana. The one with magic. The one with all the people being amazed.

Well, I tried one trick featured within the show. The one about the 9 cards. It's as if he knew the 3rd card from the left that he wanted me to remember. Note that, it is only television that is linking us to each other. And well, for that matter, a TV and a copy of the tape of the feature/special. He was right about the card!

It's so funny how he did those things. He jut effortlessly did them. It's so abso-fucking-lutely amazing. Hehe. Do you think I'm fool? No. I was simply entertained. I liked how he worked his "magic". It all seemed so natural. It was all very entertaining, indeed.

But, I have doubts. Well, I always have doubts. I want to believe but there is still something in my mind that keeps me from believing. I don't know what, I just can't do it. Since I am the doubter, there are always questions! I always think that there's a part that's been edited or there's a pattern being a followed or something else that may be helpful to the perfect execution of the trick. In short, I am being cynical that's why I kept on finding holes in the feature.

But, you see, sometimes we are the ones digging the holes up, making us more puzzled and confused. We are forced to understand every reason for everything. But, then I thought, this thing is meant to be entertained. It shouldn't be speculated seriously. It is something in us. It is an unknown territory that even us can't explain or can't even understand. I mean, this is magic. It is innate. All you have to do is believe in it.

Maybe that's the secret of Magic. When people believe(sometimes, you believe it without noticing) in it, the trick may actually work. Thus, Magic.

To Shutting Up and Choosing the Right Words

2006-05-21T14:31:00.000+08:00

I will never be silenced.. I got this one out from an icon given by Sachee.

But, will there come a time that I will have to settle with being a little bit reserved and not "loud" about a certain topic?

There is always time for anything and everything..

Well, yes. From the stories that I have heard about that certain topic, I must shut up this time. It will be a big problem for me. I mean, shutting up. Well, but I have to! Or else I may be physically handicapped by the next time you see me. Am I exaggerating? Hehe. No, I am not kidding. I am dead serious.

Let's just say that shutting up and choosing the right words are the way to go. Well, at least that will work for me. I can be little Miss Play-it-safe at times. But, what's wrong with being a little careful(at times)? Would it make me a lesser person? No, I don't think so. So, I will play the part about this certain topic for a few months time. (Yes, I am talking months)

Other than that topic, I will be normal. I will be LOUD. I will be weird. I don't care anymore. Everything's contradicting when it comes to me.

Let us all be quiet and hope for the best...

Backing Out

2006-05-20T22:29:00.000+08:00

Erm, the storm is now over with a friend and clasmate.. I think.

But, wait, a new storm arises...

Surprise! Surprise!

Your words hit me as if I were its target. But, will it hurt me?! Well, sure. I don't know how to respond. You struck me and in turn, I become speechless.

I just turned the volume so loud, waiting until my ears bleed. I pretended as if you have just said something that didn't matter, something that is said over and over again. I turn to my notebook and pencil for refuge. For in them, I find solace and my own world. I drew my little characters again. I won't face the hurt anymore.

So, you may call me a coward for backing out on a self-waged war. But, if I face it again, I will just risk hurting a lot of people. I risk hurting the important people. So, I decided to back out, run away.

It is better this way.

A Bit More Appreciation

2006-05-19T23:48:00.000+08:00

The past statements are too hard for me to handle. I really need to choose the right words next time. I make mistakes. That is what makes me real. But, I don't understand how the problem became a problem.

I started the drama because that is just me. This is me. So, shut up and listen to me for a bit. Don't let judgment fool you. It might bite you in the ass in the long run. If you just let me explain how I view things, you will understand. After all, you are intelligent.

You may see me as a push-over, I guess since I follow the rules way too much. I follow without question. They are rules after all. They are meant to be broken, as the saying goes. But, in my world, there are still some to be followed. But, delinquency is not an unknown word to me. I rebel and stand against the flow if I want to. I'd love the idea of being free and of being in control.

But, hey, I guess, I am too young to handle everything, right? I am inexperienced so now I am exposing everything to you. At least, I am being honest since I admit my mistakes and my weaknesses. Be thankful for that because it took me a geat deal of courage to damage my pride.
This following of rules. Where did it get me?! Do I have a medal right now? Do I have some sort of award for getting this far? The answer is no. No credit whatsoever. All I got was a diploma, some little-less-sincere congratulations, a total break from High School and this crummy english.
I always felt like nothing. As in empty and useless. Wala daw akong sinabi. That's what they all say. These people have no idea of what they are saying. But, I bear no grudge against them. After all, I am not impressing them by being me. I want to impress the people who feed me, nurture me, care for me. Those who really matter. I strive hard for these people.

So, why am I so affected? Because you said the magic words. And I feel really bad reading those. I am really touchy when it comes to these kind of stuff. Sorry for being so emotional. I really thought it was intended for me. I still don't really know if it is or if it is not.

Sorry, curiousity kills me and leaves me in pieces. I can't think straight. This is the only way I can deal with the stress. Sorry.

Escapade

2006-05-18T21:01:00.000+08:00

Last night, people of Roentgen planned a mini gathering since most of them will be going to Masci to get their yearbooks. Well, I was asked if I wanted to go. Of course I said yes. But, there is always the question of "fundage". Thankfully, this time, it didn't pose that big of a problem.

For always, I was late. Well, I do have a reason. There has been another electricity black-out at the time that I was supposed to be preparing. These black-outs can really get to your nerves. If you ask me, it did. But, thank God, power was restored at about 12:45. So, that leaves me 15 minutes to prepare for the 1 pm gathering.

I arrived at the school at about 1:30, I guess. They were not there! Thankfully, Carlo B. said that the Roentgen people went to Robinson's. They left a few seconds, minutes ago. So, I ran, mali, walked fast all the way to Robinson's. Luckily for me, I saw them just crossing the street to Robinson's.

People came at me as if it was the first time that we met ourselves for ten years. Aries kept on mutilating me{mutilating, hehe} by shaking me violently. Others kept on pinching my fat. Hehe. Weird people but they are fun so I am ok with everything they did to me. We went to Gbox, as usual. We sang a few songs. I think I sang most of the songs there. But, I am definitely no professional, skilled singer whatsoever. I do not have the "belter" voice. I just love to sing and I don't care what anybody thinks of me when the mic is in my hands. After the singing session, we decided to get our picture taken. But, at the last minute, we backed out since most of the people cannot stay for another one hour. With that, we parted ways. Some went home while our group decided to play DoTA.

YeAh! Score!

First, we sent Abram off then went to KFC to eat. Ade went home after this. Then, we went to the computer shop to play. PLAY! Our group comprised of me, Paulo, Aries, Gigay and Miking. Gigay and Miking went together to play as one since Gigay didn't want to play at that time. So, it was between our team{Miking and Gigay, April} and Paulo and ARies' team. It was a good game all in all but we decided to go home early since it's getting dark and it's getting late.

So, un, all in all, it was a fun day! I enjoyed the time being with them. I badly needed to see some of the people present there. And I am so glad that I had the chance to talk to them again since we are not going to the same school anymore. So, overall, it is a great day.

:D. But, there's still a part of me who wanted to play more..... DoTA. Hehe.

Change

2006-05-17T22:33:00.000+08:00

Just when you think you've got it, someone snatches it right before your own eyes.

This is the funny thing about that Everest Mountain Climbing Expedition thing. Grabe kasi ang GMA sa plugging. Ayun tuloy. But, someone told me that there is another Filipino team going up the Everest other than that of GMA's{the one with more publicity}. I really felt sad for the other mountain climber. I think he really expected that he will be the first one to go up there. If I am wrong, sorry. But, I also felt happy for the one who really got up there first. Congratulations to him! This is a first for our country. Who wouldn't be happy and proud?!

Talking about other stuff. I've really turned into an addict.. of all sorts. I super love my guitar now because I can do some of the chords with frets. I've also learned a few power chords from my 12 year-old nephew. I can do some new songs on my guitar. Cheers for me and my guitar. Back to addict mode agan, I super love Join the Club and Sandwich! You would really find me humming or singing their songs at any given time. It's so ironic since Sandwich's music is more lively than Join the Club's melancholy tunes. But, nonetheless, I love them both. Another fascinating discovery and new fancy, PBA. WHoa. I didn't really see this one coming. Love ko na ang Red Bull!!! Wah. Go Barakos! Ehehe.

Wui. I am really conceited right now so I am going to talk about myself again! Hey, this is my blog so it is ok. I've really noticed that have been this really strange, weird person these past weeks. It's as if I've morphed nto another kind of person. Fortunately, I've seen the brighter side of life. That's really weird since I've been always known as the pessimist, the "worrier" or whatever that has that negative effect. I've been more optimistic these days. It must be because I'm entering a new phase in my life. I'm really optimistic about all the stuff that is going to happen to me beginning June 13. Wah. Kaya ko to!

No more crying. It's time to smile away the problems and worries... for a change.

Another One

2006-05-10T21:30:00.000+08:00

Erm, first of all, sorry for not posting for the past X days. I'm having trouble with my finances.

So, this week is hectic. Since monday, I was on the go. Well, I have to go back to the UPHS since well, I was ordered to go back by the freaky but GOOD nurse. Aun. Eversince that day, I went out of the house. Today is my enrollment. But, there was something that happened about noontime today that almost made me miss my enrollment and made me an OSY(read: Out of School Youth). Hehe. Whatever that is I won't divulge in here. Hehe. Isa lang ang masasabi ko about dun. You have to have a great deal of faith and hope to be able to overcome the problem.

Erm, Tomorrow, I will attend the orientation intended for my college. Wala lang. I may meet unexpected people over there so it is very exciting. Speaking of people, I met a lot of people in the enrollment. Very friendly creatures those people are. Excuse the grammar. Bout them again, I was really happy that they still remember me. Well, in the first place, I initiated almost all of the conversations that paved the way for us to be friends. I was really happy that we still know each other. And, thankful din pala. Since I know that in college, I am not alone. So, I'm going to see them all again tomorrow. Cheers for my new "friends".

This one is the part wherein you run for cover. Hehe. I am going to be weird again. Hehe. Bear with me please. Bear with HER.

Kilala mo ba si Pepeng Bulate? Matalino siya. Isang huwarang estudyante. Mahilig
sa math, english at science. Kakaiba siya. Pero, siya ay mabait. Mabait sa kapwa
niya. Gusto ko nga siya eh. Pero, merong nangyaring hindi inaasahan. Ang akala
kong android na si Pepeng Bulate ay natutong umibig. Nga lang, hindi sa akin.
Lumipas ang panahon na para bang isang kalendaryo na sa bawat bagong buwan ay
pinipilas. Gaya nun, unti-unti na ring nawawala ang mga nararamdaman ko
para kay Pepeng Bulate. I'll never get you getting over me ang drama ko.
Pero, naisip ko rin na aus lng un. Aus lng. Aus lng. Basta ang maganda,
magkaibigan kami. O un nga ba ang tema? Pero kahit na. Alam kong mabait si
Pepeng Bulate. Hindi siya gaya ng iba. Kaya naisip ko talaga na aus lng ang
lahat. Aus lang ang lahat. Sa tuwing iniisip ko ang sakit, isa lang ang naiicp
ko. Isa lang ang pumapasok sa isip ko. Ito yun. Para makalimutan ang lahat ng
pasakit at hinanakit. Isa lang. Ito...iyon... MAY GWAPO SA PHARMACY!!!

hehe. Aus ba?!

Nothing Much to Say

2006-05-04T22:53:00.000+08:00

Just for the sake of posting...

I really have nothing important to say. Hmmm.. wait, let me think first. Ahh.. now, I remember. Who would you pick, a girl who's commercial-model-pretty, sociable and visually appealing but she has this so-so personality and she can be quite useless at times or a girl who's not that bad-looking though quite plump but she has this "kalog" and cool personality? Sino nga ba?

Well, the thought came to mind ever since I watched Pinoy Big Brother Teen Edition. Who would I pick? Who I would I save? Well, my choice would be Olyn. Hehe. I like her. (Yung mga gusto si Niña, please control yourselves! Let me talk first!) I will always pick personality over the looks. Erm, I mean, both girls are pretty so I base my vote on the personality. For me, I like the one who is more outspoken and the one less stereotypical of the "teenage girl". I like the one with the stronger personality. Wala lang. I really go for people who have a say. Pero, I dunno, this is just my opinion.

Who cares, anyway?! Di ba?! Hehe..

Pero, forget the crap, go Olyn!

In the name of FUN.

2006-05-02T16:02:00.000+08:00

Wow. It has been so long since I last posted. Well, hindi naman. Exxaj na ako. But, 3 days have passed! Yan. Exxaj n nmn.

Busy. Busy with what? With absolutely nothing. I just went to a bunch of places.

April 29: Laguna. It was saturday so my aunt was free from work. She promised me a trip to her former college, UP Los Banos ages ago. And this saturday was my lucky day. She took me there. This trip was not about me only. We also went there because it's the graduation. Some of my aunt's friends, roommates, churchmates etc grduated. So, there is more reason to the trip than I have thought. We arrived at the place at about 2. Traffic. As usual, there were a lot of people! I went to her graduation when I was 2nd year HS, I guess, so I wasn't that surprised with the bulk of people there. You know what's funny, I saw my former classmate, Miking(Gigay) there. He said it was her sister's graduation. It was so funny how we meet on the street. t was all a coincidence. Andame talagang tao and I'm bound to see someone I know from the crowd.

The graduation was the same old graduation. But, I have to bear in mind that this is UP. So, after the commencement exercises, there's a sort-of rally led by the students. Astig. It was all so dramatic when they sang the UP naming mahal song, and there were people with lighted candles and banners that say 'Oust GMA' or something to that effect. My Gosh. Astig. What I found also amusing about the graduation is their way of saying congratulations to the students. Some orgs will put up banners, have the balloon things with their graduate's name on it and some, while the name is being called, fired firecrackers. Parang new year at fiesta ung graduation. But, it is very fun being there and witnessing the whole event.

I met a lot of really cool and crazy people there. My aunt's friends are really like my friends. Crazy bunch, I daresay. Hehe. I was really fascinated with the honors received by some people. I really liked the idea and sound of the word "Cum Laude" after my name. Ui, nagpapahiwatig. Well, what can I say, I dream big.

ABout the campus trip. The whole school is for the environmentalists. Everything is so green. Wherever you look, you'll see green. My aunt said that the people there are also green-minded. Hehe. The campus is beautiful. It looks good. I love the space. I like it, generally. Clean and Green, un ang descrition. Too bad, I am not going there for college.

After the whole thing, there was a graduation feast. Then, we don't have any place to sleep to. Haha. Weird. Erm, thank God, there was a person named "Ate Lirs" who 'admitted' us in their room. Hehe. She's ok. I like her. She is my aunt's friend. She just graduated that day. Thank you, ate! After that, we went back to Manila. All sleepy, groggy and stuff.

I only had one day of rest fom the previous outing.

May 1: Pampanga. Huwaw. It was my cousin's birthday! Happy Bithday, Baby! (Pronounced as Bobby) And, well, there was, again, what I would call an impromptu party. With this case, it is swimming. Well, I woke up with someone asking me if I will go with them to the swimming. I was partially awake at that time but I wanted to go. Well, it is, after all, swimming. How could I say no! So, we went there. I could so feel the impromptu-ness of everything but I really wanted to swim. So, there I was riding on a truck, listening to mushy songs and playing "Spot the Baka! (Cow)" with my cousin. Hehe. The trip was fast regarding it was Pampanga. Well, thank you, NLEX! But, you sure know how to charge for your services!

The place was gorgeous. At first, it seemed like a junk shop since there were a lot of chop-chop pieces of machines in the front "porch". Haha. But, when we got inside, there was a mansion! t was so pretty. Gusto kong tumira dun! Complete with the pools and tiny cottages and beach stuff in the garden! Ang ganda.

The funny thing is I wanted to go swimming but I don't want to get sunburn and to get darker. I evaded the sun, most of the time. But, I swam beginning 3 pm up to forever. joke! I swam until the sun is completely gone. It was so cold when I got out of the water. So, I rushed into the bath room and well, bathed. We ate dinner afterwards and after a few games of "1,2,3... pass!", we went back home. It took us an hour again to go back. And, after that, I slept. :D.

Loads of stuff happened. It's cool since there was no work involved in them. It was all in the name of FUN.

Happy Birthday, Kid!

2006-04-28T23:47:00.000+08:00

April 28, 2006
Happy Birthday, Kid!

Today's just like any other day. Nothing "Whoa"-provoking happened today. Sabi ko nga, Like an ordinary day.

The thing is, I've increased my digits. That's just it. I've turned Sweet Sixteen. And, it doesn't suit me. I see no "sweetness" in it. I see no "sweet" associated with me. Or, that is what I think... Hehe. Patama ba ito?! Well, Past is Past. Haha. Ssshh.

Being old's not fun at all. So sad. I liked being a kid. I abso-fucking-lutely loved it. Hehe. In my mind and heart, I know, I am still one. Hehe. Wow. Lakas!

Yeah, yeah, say what you want. I don't care. Hehe. Kids don't care. Hehe.

Panay "hehe". This is too childish. Anyway, why the kid craze?, you may ask. I am currently searching the net for pop songs "covered" by punk bands. These songs really sound silly. Download all of them who covered Britney Spears's Hit Me Baby One More Time. Listen to them. They are funny, really! Hehe. Try it. Try also some Blink182 stuff. I kind-of heart them now. Hehe.

panay "hehe" na naman.

Serious... As I was rummaging through the contents of Ye Olde Limewire Box, I found this acoustic version of Taking Back Sunday's Cute Without the E. It sounds so sad. Depressing, really.. Lyrics:

Taking Back Sunday
Cute Without the E

Your lipstick, his collar.. don't bother Angel
I know exactly what goes on

When everything you'll get
is everything that you've wanted, princess
(well which would you prefer)
My finger on the trigger, or
(me face down, down across your floor)
Me face down, down across your floor
(me face down, down across your floor)
Well just so long as this thing's loaded

And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinking,
this all was only wishful thinking
And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinking,
this all was only wishful thinking
let's go...

Don't bother trying to explain Angel
I know exactly what goes on when you're on and
How about I'm outside of your window
(how about I'm outside of your window)
Watching him keep the details covered
You're such a sucker
(you're such a sucker) for a sweet talker, yeah

And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinking,
this all was only wishful thinking
(the only thing that I regret is that I, I never let you hold me back)
And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinking,
this all was only wishful thinking

Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you'll never love me
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you'll never love me
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know...

Why can't I feel anything from anyone other than you?
Why can't I feel anything from anyone other than you?

And all of this was all your fault
And all of this

(Nothing's worse)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this, for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind as something larger than life
(she'll destroy us all before she's through
and find a way to blame somebody else)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this, for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind as something larger than life
(she'll destroy us all before she's through
and find a way to blame somebody else)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this, for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind as something larger than life!

Reminds me of Bianca. I miss her. I like the song. I can relate to it. You should try it. Find the acoustic version. It's good. It makes me want to cry.

=)

Insecure

2006-04-26T20:40:00.000+08:00

The chinese girl in PBB is so cute! I'm so friggin' insecure! And, she's MU with that chinese guy that's cute too. They are such a cute couple. But, I sure as hell wish that everything is not real. You know, them liking each other since I'm really crushing on that chinese guy. Hehe. I am selfish. Who has never been selfish when it comes to the love bug?!

Now, I feel so damned insecure. She's so perfect. She's so pretty. Compared to me. I am only the goddess of rejection, rather dejection. Sad story, isn't it? but, it's true. Wish I could change it though. How sad. I really, really need a good strong dose of optimism right now! Hay...

I feel so bad. I feel weak. I feel so useless. I do not intend to feel this way but this is just the way I feel. I'm not trying to be emo or anything. It's just... so sad. It's so sad when you feel insecure and hopeless.

Masakit kapag dumating na sa point na 'yun..

I see a rising problem

2006-04-26T19:19:00.000+08:00

Amf. I think there is something wrong with my blog. Shux. How would I deal with this?! Wait...

2006-04-26T18:22:00.000+08:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Impromptu

2006-04-25T23:21:00.000+08:00

We went swimming yesterday at Cavite. I wasn't prepared to go there at that time since it was so impromptu. Imagine this, you are sleeping in the comfort of your own bed, then suddenly, someone knocks from your door and asks you if you want to go swimming. Wow. It's like, Hello, I'm not even "fully awake" yet. Hehe. It was all impromptu and I even asked myself, "why are we swimming?" Then, I remembered. It was my niece's birthday! Wow. Ok. SO, called her on the phone to confirm if it was really true. It was true, after all. The invatation is just too hard to turn down. The pool is calling me. I badly needed a break from my friggin' home anyway. Haha. And, beseide, I really wanted to go even if I wanted to sleep more. Hehe.

So, there I was, completely pumped up from all the excitement. I packed then headed outside. To my shock, my niece's friends were there! Wow. Sobrang impromptu ito! Am I the only one who doesn't know about this trip?! Well, we commuted our way to Cavite. It's ok for me. Anything to go out. There is the usual congestion on that corner thingie but other than that, the trip was ok. I was with my cousin so that means I have someone to talk to. As for my niece' friends, they were ok, I guess. Well, some of them are nice and the talked to me! Wow. I have never felt so old in my entire life!

The whole swimming was fun! I was totally afraid of the kiddie slide! I was so funny! I looked like a freak that day. But I had fun anyways! Hehe..

About today, today sucks! I feel so useless and hopeless! Cable sucks too! It's whacked! No One Tree Hill for me! Malas! Of all the days, Tuesday pa! Tsk.. Well, wish me good luck on my x-ray tomorrow. For some reason, I'm scared of them too. Haha. No, not really, I'm afraid there's going to be another thing or something else in that plate. Haha. *Noo..>_<*

Realizations from the Snake

2006-04-23T08:33:00.000+08:00

I have consumed most of the waking hours of my life in one fruitful and exciting hobby, that is playing snake. Who would have thought that playing snake in the cellphone is enlightening!?

Well, for me, that is the case, I've really figured out some of life's essentials while going thru a round with the snake. A lot of lessons learned, I guess. In such a raucous place like ths world, in the quiet world of the snake, you can really ponder on things. I've had questions while that snake ate the tiny little dots. Most of them were really nonsense at first. But, as the times I play the game increased, I found myself thinking of different psychological things! Huwaw! I'm o a roll with the snake!

I guess I've learned that when you get to that moment wherein you're nearing your goal or ambition, you should really never stop working hard to reach it. Even if the goal is very near and is ready for you to take it, still work hard! Given the case that you stopped, there is still the possibility of that goal to slip through your mere hands. You've given the opportunity but when you realized that it is within your reach and you let yourself be ok with just that position(meaning, you stopped working hard), there is still the slightest chance of not getting your goal, of getting all your previous efforts wasted. It is really true that we must strive until we have not got that thing that we aimed for. I've learned that from the Snake when I didn't the tiny dot since "I know" that my score is enough to qualify for the Top Score. You know what, it's just 2 points away from it! It's really frustrating when you "know" but it doesn't turn out the way it's supposed to be.

I guess, I will strive from now on. Strive. Soar. Strive again. again? I believe it is within the maintenance of hardwork that makes the person, who does it, great. So again...

Strive. Soar. Strive again.

First Post's First

2006-04-22T07:11:00.000+08:00

This is not my first time to blog. But, don't be surprised of my poor writing ability. Believe me, I'm not that good. Haha..

My blog at blogdrive.com sucks.! I can't even update that blog! I think there is something wrong with this damned computer. Hehe. As always, the computer is the problem. Anyway, on with the problem, the computer couldn't open the "Create an Entry" Page in blogdrive. Sucks, I know. Well, I suddenly thought of blogger and well, it works here. As you can see, you are reading something right now.

But, actually, I am not saddened at all by this. Well, if I have a blog in Blogger, I'd have to delete the other one since it is of no more use to me. That is really not a problem, deleting a one-year old blog that is. The funny thing with this "deleting" is the timing. I need to revamp my life and leave whatever "remained alive" in my old blog. Haha. Truly, talk about good timing. Another funny thing is that, by today, the old blog is one year old! And, I'm deleting it! Haha! And, I'm starting this one at the same date! Cool, eh?!

About me. A totally inexperienced blogger since I've been on hiatus for some time now. I'm a bit of a slack when it somes to posting entries. Erm, I want to change that. Hopefully, it will change with this new one. Haha. Wish me luck on starting out anew.